Touch testosterone and libido

I have always been funny about girls touching my penis. I had a circumcision at 18 and even now I am squeamish thinking about it.

I have tried the drugs tadalafil viagra and a different one I can’t remember the name. Viagra is rubbish and the flush and pressure is not worth it. Tadalafil is fine for helping get and keep an erection. However I call it the Robodick. As it’s a hard penis with no feeling - doesn’t care if I want sex it will just do a job.

I have been under testing for low testosterone for over 8 years but have never had low enough treatment on the NHS. Last year I went private and got a diagnosis. My T levels are the equivalent of an 80 year old man.

I have now been on TRT for almost a year. I feel I can achieve erections now without pills. I just don’t have the desire.

Masterbating has always been it’s just a quick knock one out kinda deal. I.e cumming is the only good bit.

I am married. And my wife constantly feels rejected. Sec is the only let down in our relationship. She complains I don’t initiate but I don’t initiate for fear of failure. I feel this is the vicious circle. I like to be touched pretty much everywhere apart from the penis.

Sometime I think I am weird as my sex drive is non existent compared to my spouse.