When I was 17 I could literally ejaculate and then immediately get an erection and ejaculate again. It was fairly common to orgasm at least twice when I was that young. By the time I was 25 and probably sooner than that, I was no longer able to do that. I would need at least 4-5 hours before I could go again. Now at the age of 62, the refractory period can be anywhere from 8-24 hours. I really have no idea why at this point it varies so greatly, although I will offer an explanation of what I think could be true throughout my sexual lifespan.
When I was 17 orgasm rarely took over 5 minutes and ejaculation did not seem as powerful as it would become. It seems to me that I still had plenty of energy at that age and 5 minutes of stimulation was not enough. Pretty easy to see why I was multi-orgamic when I was young.
By the time I was 25 (and probably sooner) I had developed techniques to prolong ejactulation. I would like to claim that I wanted to engage in sex for a more extended period to please my wife. Unfortunately, that is not the reason. I wanted to slow down and enjoy it more. I wanted to enjoy the sensations leading up to orgasm. One example of technique I used is imagining that I was a gigolo. I was being paid for my service and if I wanted to be recommend to other I needed to satisfy the client I was with. I am not certain if this will resonate with you or anyone else. It was just part of my journey.
There is plenty of history between 25 and now at 62. There was a progression of the sexual experience that my wife and I shared. Our communication became better. We shared fantasies (fulfilled some of them). We introduced toys into our play time. (Play time at 62, isn’t that something to say).
The past couple of years I have had problems with Psychogenic Erectile Dysfunction so what is happening now is not as relevant. I can go back a couple of years and it might be helpful. My wife and I engaged in sexual activities at least twice a week. I am not certain exactly when we began extended sessions, but it is rare that we are not engage for at least an hour. When I think back on when this began, it seems it would have been in my mid to late 40’s. From that point forward we would spend a lot more time engaged in foreplay. We also began to spend time pleasing one another individually with oral sex, toys, or other means. Usually we would end with vaginal intercourse. It would be pretty safe to say that each one of those 3 areas would last 20 minutes or more.
This is exactly why my Erectile Dysfunction is pissing me off so much. Before this ED started there were no sexual desires that I had that were not being fulfilled. I believe my wife would say the same. She is very loving about it, but also wants to get the bed springs squeaking again.