The combination of alcohol and new partners

As a single guy who is actively dating most of my sexual encounters involve alcohol and new partners, a bad combo for my performance anxiety.

I’m generally okay sober but I regularly struggle to get/stay hard if I’ve had a drink. I’m aware of the physiological effects lots of alcohol has on erections, but I fear this causes me to worry too much once I’ve had a drink, to the point even a drink or two can affect my performance.

Anyone got any good tips for reducing the anxiety associated with a new partner and alcohol?

I can’t offer advice on how to solve this as I’m still in this situation but want to share that I totally relate. Your post was helpful because I recently told myself “okay, only one drink allowed before sex” but now I think that puts myself In headspace to worry about it, really sets the stage to give myself anxiety over it and then… surprise, I can’t get it up. Thank you for sharing, it’s helpful to hear your story. I too hope to find a solution soon.

I experienced this before and it got even worse when I tried ED drugs because it’s advised that you don’t take alcohol with some of them, like Viagra.

However a lot of the problem is in the mind, for sure. I was so caught up thinking about the fact that I’d had one drink that my mind had basically decided already that I wasn’t going to get hard. On other occasions after drinking, when I’m with a partner that I feel very relaxed with things work like normal.

My advice is to work on clearing your mind and relaxing. Easier said than done, especially when there are the usual nerves of being with someone you don’t know that well or just met a couple of times from a dating app.

It’s really comforting to know that there are other guys out there experiencing these problems.

I’m in a new relationship right now that I’m very excited about. We’ve had sex, but a few of the times were when I had a few drinks. The anxiety flared up once, but she helped me feel comfortable. I’m going to talk more to her about what I’m going through. I don’t know about you guys, but it helps so much to feel completely comfortable with my partner.

My anxiety is heightened when I haven’t had a drink. I don’t want to fix a problem with another potential problem. Thank you all for sharing.