I’ve suffered from performance anxiety 2 years ago when I was with my girlfriend at the time. Went on for a humiliating 4 weeks but we both worked through it together and I had great sex for the remainder of our relationship until university when we broke up. With pressures of university and being single I felt like I had to go out there and have one night stands, even though this didn’t feel right. Ended up doing it around a month ago, again became really nervous and don’t help I was drunk and I couldn’t get it up again. Since then I’ve really been struggling with obsessive thoughts about what if scenarios and what if it happens again. It’s almost made me scared of sex due to pairing anxiety with it and it’s actually decreased my sexual desire due to the anxiety. I don’t find women as attractive, I’m just wondering if this is normal with performance anxiety. Do people feel less attracted to women due to a lower libido due to the anxiety?
I can say that I’m currently more fearful of a start stop sex session than anything with my fiancée. That’s why I’m here though, to shut that stupid thought in my brain up. Definitely don’t find her less attractive, hell if anything she’s been even more attractive lately.
You’re not alone man, I have those same thoughts. Keep at it with the activities to gain self confidence back and we’ll be fixed in no time. Just gotta keep working at it and realize that these problems are temporary and fixable, not permanent.
Yeah for sure I’ve got through it before but it was easier with a partner by my side. Problem is with one night stands is that it’s hard to test your progress out. I guess we just have to find someone that we are comfortable with and if they can’t handle the fact that it may happen then they’re simply not the one.