It’s been almost a year since I went soft during sex and got super in my head about it. Every time I’ve hooked up with someone since I’ve been worried it’s going to happen again and sure enough it does just from the anxiety.
I’ve stopped watching porn for a month now and I knew I was going to have the chance to hookup with someone this weekend so I didn’t jerk off all week. This was also someone I hooked up with before so it was already somewhat familiar and I think that helped. I didn’t end up having any issues at all and we ended up going 3 rounds 
. I was super present and horny the whole time and it was such a relief.
One thing I found really helpful was telling myself to pretend we already had sex and this is just a bonus round (even if it wasn’t) as it relived the pressure to be hard and “perform”. Another thing that helped was focusing on the physical sensation and kept repeating the thought “All you have to do is enjoy this sensation”