Hey folks! I figured I’d share some success. So, I’ve been dealing with stress-related PE for a year or so. For context, I’m a middle-aged guy about to turn 40 this year, and my wife and I have been together for almost 20 years. Between stress at work and having a 3 year old, I’d started to get really anxious about sex, but I’m starting to get my control back. The last few times we’ve had sex, though, it’s been more like the sex we used to have. Here’s what’s been working for me.
–No porn. I was watching porn a good bit, and it put me in a state where I was ready to pop as soon as sex started. So now, when I catch myself opening that incognito tab, I switch gears. Do some kegels, meditation, take a walk, do some chores around the house, etc. Porn isn’t bad, it’s not an evil, but I wasn’t using it for arousal. I was defaulting to it because I was depressed and needed a serotonin boost.
–Kegels and meditation. Take 5 minutes of meditation when you can. Do kegels when you can. I do kegels while.washing dishes, and I meditate in my office during my lunch break. Making small adjustments to work on control has been essential.
–Start-stop masturbation. Finding the stroke, so to speak, has been great. I do it about twice a week, trying to do it a day before I expect to have sex (we have a set sex night, which is far more arousing than it sounds; lot of anticipation). It’s been helpful gauging my arousal.
–Breath work. Again, control. When I feel an ejaculation coming on during sex or masturbation, I focus on my breath and I can come back down.
That’s what’s working for me so far. I hope you all find it helpful–if not from the techniques that helped me, then from your own. You got this, guys. Stay the course, acknowledge setbacks, and turn off the screens when you can. Good luck! We’re all rooting for each other.