I would consider myself a âlate bloomerâ sexually, didnât have my first girlfriend til I was 22 during my last year of college. There were definitely issues during the relationship (mostly on my end) and I did not want to communicate or be vulnerable enough to work on this which I fully acknowledge as of recently.
After that relationship ended, I decided that I just needed âmore experienceâ which I sought on dating apps. I had a brief short term relationship and then a casual hookup. Again, erection problems during both. The casual hookup in particular left me feeling quite empty afterwards which I didnât expect.
Since then Iâve been almost avoiding dating because of the thought that erection issues would make me âunworthyâ of a relationship and itâs been holding me back.
Iâm ready to work on it now though! Anyone else relate?
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Similar issue for me. As a gay kid in a rural area I had no real opportunities to have sex as a teenager, in college I was still struggling with my identity and how to interact with other gay guys. I was well into my 20s before having sex. I think this has contributed to a lot of the anxiety I feel when having sex now. The lack of experience, especially when I feel like a lot of the gay community is pretty open and frequent with sex.
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Hi! I feel totally the same.
I had (and still partially have) the same problem. I never had success with girls when I was young. I started finally getting some action and attentions from girls quite late (23 years old). Before that I always lacked confidence, experience, I was scared of opening up to people, and I thought that Iâd always fail getting hard and that would have been too embarrassing. I kept thinking that because the first times I tried to have sex with random hookups, I always failed getting hard.
Although at some point I decided that I had to make a change. I even had my testosterone level checked by a doctor, and they gave me as results that it was all normal. At that point I knew it was all in my mind and in my fears of failures, so I started working on it (with Mojo). Obviously the first times I kept failing, couldnât getting it hard at all, or at the right time. Now I kinda have a lot more confidence, and also Iâve met girls that didnât take the failing of getting it up too seriously, which honestly made me less anxious about it.
Iâve had a few times when I finally managed to have sex with no problem, which made me realise that it really is all in our heads, our fears, anxiety that is ruining everything.
Iâm still working on it, the problem is still there and still happened recently, but I can see the bright side of it.
If I can give you an advice, try to consume less alcohol (Iâd say that this was the cause for my last failure), and this will get you more mentally present during the interaction with a girl, and give you more excitement.
Hope it can give you some hope. It takes time and the road is long, but itâs possible to get better. so keep trying, donât beat yourself up when it happens, and keep trying to work on it!
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