I’ve been struggling with erection issues for a while. I was a late bloomer only starting to fool around with women in my mid 20s, which were only few awkward hookups as first experiences ever, as prior I was never modeled how to get out of my shell and talk to women, I was kind of lonely in high school and college and “friends” teased me even saying I’d never find a woman who wanted to be with me, suffice it to say this created a lot of long lasting anxiety, which started in my coping through porn and desensitizing through a firm grip with a dry hand which is quite different from what I would later learn is the sensation inside an actual vagina that is lubricated. Anyhow, shortly after my first awkward hookups of my mid 20s, I found myself in a relationship I was ready to commit to, without much experience prior giving me the confidence in sex, and now we’re 10 years into it and I’ve struggled on and off with issues of getting in my head and losing it, our communication needs a lot of work too which is part of the problem. Anyway, I’ve been seeing a sex therapist which I’ve been finding illuminating, and also following the Mojo app which has been greatly helpful as well. I’ve been cutting on porn, and actually using my hand less but using a toy for men and opening up my perception of more sensory input in general, getting away from the need of being ham-fisted to necessarily “feel” anything, resensitizing, even masturbating less, being open to trying to masturbate with other things than porn which is highly visual (another reason we can tune out of our sensations being experienced). I’ve been gaining confidence, lots, and out of my head more and more, it’s a process, but more reliably keeping it up and sensitive to more sensation to tune into.
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