Hey i am gagging for sex with my Mrs but the fear is so strong that I will not get hard. Any one have any tips
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I am also getting my wifes pussy tonight and I am a bit nervous since we have not done it in two weeks, due to travel for work.
What gives me some calmness is that me and my wife have agreed on a backup plan in case I can not get it up, which consists of me pleasing her in other ways. It is so important to not get discouraged and depressed when the erection fails, but to continue on and keep at positive mindset.
I try to consciously replace the negative “what if” anxious feelings that I get in the hours leading up to sex with positive affirmations.
I am about to do some meditation now and this usually helps also.
We are in this together. Good luck!
Sensitive question but what is the backup plan? (only share if comfortable and welcome thoughts from others too)
For context have just started seeing someone new - we had great sex the once then the ED crept in. Transparently, she’s not the one for me long term but is physically my type and has a high sex drive. We’re not at the oral stage yet and fingering is getting a bit samey.
Usually a combination of hands, cunnilingus and stuff like spanking.
You can also try toys (we tried, but my wife doesn’t like them). Sometimes if she can not get into mood we just gently stroke each other’s bodies for a fixed amount of time (15-20mins) similar to the sensate focus exercises.
Btw, we ended not doing it last night, because she was not feeling well (typical of her…). I am pretty bummed out, but at least I know that it wasn’t my EDs fault.
I’ve been in your exact situation so many times but was still able to get it up! Use the breathing exercises to stay calm through the day. Also the positive thoughts ones where you analyze and discard the negative thoughts as catastrophizing, etc. it’s normal to be nervous so don’t be hard on yourself. Focus on the girl and having fun, and yes have a backup plan to give you comfort. For me I’ll take charge of her, be “dominant” and tell her she has to lube up and stroke my cock (say it in a way like you’re in charge, not nervous). She usually loves that and plays along and then her giving me a handy helps me to get it up. You got this bro!
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