Hello. I’ve decided to post about my experience with mojo and how it’s helped me with my erectile problems. I see people question whether it works but not many responses. So feel free to read about what i have to say.
Background to my problem:
I’m in my early thirties. It had been close to 2 years since I’d had sex. This is in part due to being isolated during the pandemic but there were other reasons too. I burried myself in work a lot and thought my romantic life would sort itself out.
I used porn regularly when masturbating. During the pandemic I was spending a lot of time at home and so the frequency of my masturbation, and hence porn use, increased.
Towards the end of 2021 I met a lovely lady on a dating app and after a couple of dates we were at my place and she wanted to have sex. I was really nervous because it had been ages but I got an erection and we started. It didn’t feel right though, I was so nervous and it didn’t feel natural. She said something felt off, I lost my erection and we stopped. It was traumatic.
She stayed the night and a few hours later we tried again but my erection was really weak and we couldn’t have sex properly, another failure. We talked about it and she was understanding.
We started dating and tried having sex every time we hung out. I could get an okish erection during foreplay but as soon as the thought of having sex entered my head I would lose it. I’m generally a virile guy and she would have sex every day if she could. We became VERY sexually frustrated and this put a big strain on our relationship.
Actions I’ve taken:
My issue went on for 4 weeks before I spoke to a GP who used recent blood tests and health checks to conclude that all the usual risk factors for erectile dysfunction were low or non existent. He said I am likely to have a psychosexual problem and recommended therapy.
During my research and quest to find out about therapy, I stumbled across mojo. I was sceptical but registered for three months so see what it was all about.
What i learned from mojo:
From the start of January 2022 I followed the course structure and used the meditation courses every day. After a couple of months I took a step back and realised that for my whole life I’ve been totally out of touch with my body and living in a bubble, oblivious to common sense information about sex and sexual wellbeing.
There is a lot of information on the site but I’ll highlight the learnings that have been most beneficial to me.
Firstly, using porn isn’t necessarily an issue, but I had become conditioned to get erect and orgasm using it as a visual stimulus. I was also masturbating too often and not giving my body a chance to enjoy the sensations of touch and having an orgasm. I enjoyed the mojo porn course because it helped me realise this, cut down on porn use, and practice becoming sensitive to touch, taste, sound and smell during sex.
I had encountered negative sexual experiences due to becoming anxious about not being able to get an erection or satisfy my partner. I was also spectatoring all the time, and focussing on whether or not my penis was working properly. This is not conducive to good sex
Soft penis pleasuring
I’ve always been uncomfortable about my penis. I had developed unhealthy thoughts - it’s too small, porn stars have dicks twice the size and that’s what girls like; and I can’t let girls see it or touch it if it’s not erect.
The penis pleasuring course made me much more comfortable with my penis, whether it’s soft or not. My girlfriend loves to see it and it doesn’t even cross my mind anymore that it should be hard, I’m comfortable for her to see it how ever it is. The course has also contributed towards improving my sensitivity to touch.
I’ve experienced anxiety about sex. My girlfriend sends me provocative pictures and she’s always buying sexy outfits and telling me about sexual experiences she wants to try. Instead of getting excited this would make me nervous. All i could think about is that i would disappoint her. Another recurring thought i had was that the gp was wrong. There’s something wrong with me that’s not been tested for and therefore my erection problems could be here to stay.
I’ve tried meditation before and I’m aware of the benefits. I’ve got into a habit of doing breathing exercises and meditation every day. I used the mojo courses but now I’m on Headspace (and there are lots of other such apps). Meditation is a great tool to use every day to help you become more present and place less energy on negative thoughts. It’s helping me in lots of different ways in my life, not just to make me more relaxed during sex ( but obviously that’s a great plus :)). I’m better now at keeping negative thoughts in check.
It takes time, patience and consistency to enjoy the benefits of meditation. The best advice I can give is to keep at it and practice your breathing and letting thoughts pass. Don’t set expectations for what meditation will do. It’s not to be used to solve a problem, it’s there to help you experience the present without your mind being distracted or disturbed by the past or potential future.
I dialled into a mojo zoom session and I’ve been reading the forums. It’s been enlightening for me to hear other people’s experiences and realise that I’m not alone.
I’ve gained anecdotal information about ED drugs, sex toys and activities people try when they suffer from ED. I’m grateful to learn this from mojo community members because real life reviews give colour to the generic information that’s available on the internet.
What I’ll take away from mojo:
If you hadn’t guessed already I’m no longer suffering from ED. I’ve been having frequent sex with my partner and I get turned on really easily now. Six months ago my girlfriend was literally about to explode from not being able to have sex. More recently she told me she’s been hurting from how much we’ve going at it, which is a much better situation to be in! I still have off days, but I’m able to step back and understand this can be influenced by stress and being tired. One off day doesn’t mean I have a problem.
I started mojo looking for a ‘cure’ to my erection problems. What I’ve learned is that embarking on healthy practices like exercising, sleeping enough, eating well, meditating, being aware of and handling stress, not using too much porn etc are all important for longevity and a good sex life.
These are things we think we know and take for granted, but not giving them enough attention has consequences.
I’ll describe mojo as opening my eyes to what was going on in my head and with my body, and pointing me to useful tools and advice. In the end though you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. Make the most of the courses and exercises on the website. Pay attention to what they’re trying to teach you. Be patient and don’t give up hope.