Hello. Iāve decided to post about my experience with mojo and how itās helped me with my erectile problems. I see people question whether it works but not many responses. So feel free to read about what i have to say.
Background to my problem:
Iām in my early thirties. It had been close to 2 years since Iād had sex. This is in part due to being isolated during the pandemic but there were other reasons too. I burried myself in work a lot and thought my romantic life would sort itself out.
I used porn regularly when masturbating. During the pandemic I was spending a lot of time at home and so the frequency of my masturbation, and hence porn use, increased.
Towards the end of 2021 I met a lovely lady on a dating app and after a couple of dates we were at my place and she wanted to have sex. I was really nervous because it had been ages but I got an erection and we started. It didnāt feel right though, I was so nervous and it didnāt feel natural. She said something felt off, I lost my erection and we stopped. It was traumatic.
She stayed the night and a few hours later we tried again but my erection was really weak and we couldnāt have sex properly, another failure. We talked about it and she was understanding.
We started dating and tried having sex every time we hung out. I could get an okish erection during foreplay but as soon as the thought of having sex entered my head I would lose it. Iām generally a virile guy and she would have sex every day if she could. We became VERY sexually frustrated and this put a big strain on our relationship.
Actions Iāve taken:
My issue went on for 4 weeks before I spoke to a GP who used recent blood tests and health checks to conclude that all the usual risk factors for erectile dysfunction were low or non existent. He said I am likely to have a psychosexual problem and recommended therapy.
During my research and quest to find out about therapy, I stumbled across mojo. I was sceptical but registered for three months so see what it was all about.
What i learned from mojo:
From the start of January 2022 I followed the course structure and used the meditation courses every day. After a couple of months I took a step back and realised that for my whole life Iāve been totally out of touch with my body and living in a bubble, oblivious to common sense information about sex and sexual wellbeing.
There is a lot of information on the site but Iāll highlight the learnings that have been most beneficial to me.
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Porn use
Firstly, using porn isnāt necessarily an issue, but I had become conditioned to get erect and orgasm using it as a visual stimulus. I was also masturbating too often and not giving my body a chance to enjoy the sensations of touch and having an orgasm. I enjoyed the mojo porn course because it helped me realise this, cut down on porn use, and practice becoming sensitive to touch, taste, sound and smell during sex. -
Performance anxiety
I had encountered negative sexual experiences due to becoming anxious about not being able to get an erection or satisfy my partner. I was also spectatoring all the time, and focussing on whether or not my penis was working properly. This is not conducive to good sex -
Soft penis pleasuring
Iāve always been uncomfortable about my penis. I had developed unhealthy thoughts - itās too small, porn stars have dicks twice the size and thatās what girls like; and I canāt let girls see it or touch it if itās not erect.
The penis pleasuring course made me much more comfortable with my penis, whether itās soft or not. My girlfriend loves to see it and it doesnāt even cross my mind anymore that it should be hard, Iām comfortable for her to see it how ever it is. The course has also contributed towards improving my sensitivity to touch. -
Meditation
Iāve experienced anxiety about sex. My girlfriend sends me provocative pictures and sheās always buying sexy outfits and telling me about sexual experiences she wants to try. Instead of getting excited this would make me nervous. All i could think about is that i would disappoint her. Another recurring thought i had was that the gp was wrong. Thereās something wrong with me thatās not been tested for and therefore my erection problems could be here to stay.
Iāve tried meditation before and Iām aware of the benefits. Iāve got into a habit of doing breathing exercises and meditation every day. I used the mojo courses but now Iām on Headspace (and there are lots of other such apps). Meditation is a great tool to use every day to help you become more present and place less energy on negative thoughts. Itās helping me in lots of different ways in my life, not just to make me more relaxed during sex ( but obviously thatās a great plus :)). Iām better now at keeping negative thoughts in check.
It takes time, patience and consistency to enjoy the benefits of meditation. The best advice I can give is to keep at it and practice your breathing and letting thoughts pass. Donāt set expectations for what meditation will do. Itās not to be used to solve a problem, itās there to help you experience the present without your mind being distracted or disturbed by the past or potential future. -
Mojo community
I dialled into a mojo zoom session and Iāve been reading the forums. Itās been enlightening for me to hear other peopleās experiences and realise that Iām not alone.
Iāve gained anecdotal information about ED drugs, sex toys and activities people try when they suffer from ED. Iām grateful to learn this from mojo community members because real life reviews give colour to the generic information thatās available on the internet.
What Iāll take away from mojo:
If you hadnāt guessed already Iām no longer suffering from ED. Iāve been having frequent sex with my partner and I get turned on really easily now. Six months ago my girlfriend was literally about to explode from not being able to have sex. More recently she told me sheās been hurting from how much weāve going at it, which is a much better situation to be in! I still have off days, but Iām able to step back and understand this can be influenced by stress and being tired. One off day doesnāt mean I have a problem.
I started mojo looking for a ācureā to my erection problems. What Iāve learned is that embarking on healthy practices like exercising, sleeping enough, eating well, meditating, being aware of and handling stress, not using too much porn etc are all important for longevity and a good sex life.
These are things we think we know and take for granted, but not giving them enough attention has consequences.
Iāll describe mojo as opening my eyes to what was going on in my head and with my body, and pointing me to useful tools and advice. In the end though you can lead a horse to water but you canāt make it drink. Make the most of the courses and exercises on the website. Pay attention to what theyāre trying to teach you. Be patient and donāt give up hope.