Psychological ED with Condoms

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a couple years now and she requires condom use since she is not on birth control. Every time we try to have sex and I try to put the condom on I lose my erection and feel shame. She and I have been very patient with one another and we kind of put sex on the back burner but at this point in the relationship we need to get going on everything. She doesn’t really like oral, and when I go down on her, she does not return the favor but she allows me to do other things that I’m into. It should be worth noting that she doesn’t have a very high libido, and is not very experienced, but she want to fuck. Every time I look at or even think about the condom, my inner critic says it’s not gonna work, and then I lose my erection. I’ve had sex with other girls before, but was never able to with a condom and always raw dogged. I do not have any issues with getting an erection or maintaining an erection when I watch porn. The type of porn I watch is not basic or vanilla. It doesn’t even really have to do with sex more so just girls plying with their bodies, doing solo stuff, and some fetish stuff. I gave up porn this week to try to help the situation. Anybody else going through something similar or would like to share advice?


Can your partner join in with putting the condom on? Make it part of the foreplay and enjoyable (oral etc)
Or maybe you could start using one during masturbation

It might help to link condom use to a different emotion/experience, as right now it might be linked to feelings of shame


My partner would put mine on for me and it helped tremendously.


OP here, last time she tried to but I still lost it. I guess practice makes perfect. It’s going to be a work in progress. I have to get out of my own head it’s just tough

I dont have exactly the same problem but a few times, several lost the erection when trying to out the condom. So for that reason my inner critic starts to jumo in when we are in foreplay or a girl giving me some blowjob…

In my head is the thinking of I need to grab the condom quickly and have it prepared / ooen for when the BJ ends so there’s no time to kose the erection. Now Im trying to relax a little bit now, enjoy the moment and make her part of the process of putting the condom, like touching her kissing her, or her kissing my body, etc the idea is to make it flow with the foreplay…