Prematurely coming

My problem started with premature ejaculation and then because of the anxiety of this, I started losing my erections when I was getting close to coming. With time my erections have got worse so now I have two issues to solve rather than the one. The joys ha

Omg I was also wondering if this would come up. I am the very same when my PP is behaving. In terms of tricks to help… zone into the wall for a little while. Move your focus away. At least that helped me a little but I really hope this is covered.

I feel this is the root of my issues. I’ve always had this problem, and never faced it. What it has meant is that sex has constantly been some sort of mind game - trying to stay interested while distancing my mind from what was happening in an attempt to desensitise myself.

A vicious cycle begins then, of trying to turn yourself off - resulting in a lack of desire, and then when you are finally turned on, it happens so fast that it’s a frustrating experience for my wife.

The net result, is reluctance for sex - distancing, a lack of showing that I even care from my side. Marriage of nearly 10 years is now at breaking point and I’m absolutely devastated at the thought that I have pushed my wife away so much that she is so resentful about it towards me.

Anyone get an erection then experience a wave of subconscious fear that immediately kills it in its tracks?

I’m struggling with this at the moment, I’m putting off sex with new partners and trying to delay all the time by distracting and taking lots of breaks. Basically I end up getting no enjoyment and it just causes more anxiety. Do I just speak to them about it?

Haha ya sometimes I do when I’m super excited. I usually take it out for a few seconds until the excitement goes down and then put it back in.

Also none of you guys have ED. Your dicks work perfectly fine. You guys have a problem in your head. Just laugh about and take it slow. Start kissing and talking to your girl while playing with your dick. That should get you out of your head. I’ve had sex hundreds of times and even I let a couple times where I’m frustrated and stressed make me think something is wrong. Go back to the basics and focus on the girl. Don’t let a few times in the past affect anything. Your dicks are fine! And stop calling it ED, reframe it and call it in your head.

Anyone use a penile pump or penile implant to completely take anxiety and fear out of the situation?
Having been a long time sporadic sufferer of Psychogenic ED for 40 years I’ve tried everything else. The Tabs help sometimes but not always, shockwave therapy was interesting but more useful for physical ED.I bought a pump to try but its a long winded process requiring 2 constriction rings to keep an erection and it makes sex mechanical rather than impulsive. This community is useful for information. Everything makes sense logically but convincing your mind is another matter!

This is the Bain of my sex life… sometimes my problem starts earlier and I get so anxious that I lose my erection. I then get so excited that a few thrusts in and I’ve already climaxed.

I focus a lot on foreplay. I think it’s one of my strengths. I also have used numbing spray or numbing condoms. I’d tell my partner I’m using them. “Hey I tend to finish quick so I to…” Something like that. I also like to pull out when I’m getting to excited go to oral or hand play for a minute or so and then I’m good. Hope this helps!

Side bar: I called a girl I’ve been seeing and was sexual with, called her out of the blue, and told her about my anxiety around sex. We talked for 20 minutes about how it started for me and how it might of shown in the times we were intimate. She said she could relate and also had anxieties. We were sexual a few times before but I could never maintain a full erection for penetration. But the very next time I hung out with her after the phone call, I was able to have penetrative sex, multiple times, for 20+ minutes. Huge change in outcome from just one leap of faith. I know I have to keep striving for true confidence and consistently satisfying results, but it’s a great sign. I hope this story helps other to push themselves and talk about their anxieties with their partners and lovers.

just the other day before even getting hard I prematurely came and my partner was like “did you come?” I didn’t say yes because at that point I already felt ashamed and my erection died very quickly.