I use porn to relieve tension I build up during the day. My wife doesn’t like that I use porn and when she finds out we have a big fight. She doesn’t want me to masturbate ever yet she also doesn’t want to have sex. I find myself using porn to get aroused during the day but then have to quickly lose my erection due to being in public and I think that’s caused my ED. I have no ways to cope with my emotional desire for release and when I go without i end up depressed and sad. It’s even made me think thought of suicide. I’ve talked with a therapist and now turn to mojo for some guidance. Is it me or does my wife have some blame in this?
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Dang bro…she seems a little insecure if she doesn’t want sex and also doesn’t want you to masturbate. you should do it anyway and just don’t tell her.
I think keeping it from her will just make things worse. I think you should own your needs and invite her to talk about why porn bothers her. Many men in couples use porn either alone or with their partners.
If you listen to her and don’t get judgmental or defensive, there might be a deeper issue that talking through could help. Therapy could be another option for navigating this issue. But don’t keep it from her, you’re inviting a bigger argument when you do that.
I want to start this reply with saying that none of this is worth your life. I have struggled with similar thoughts over the years but then recently realized it was not my wife’s fault and not my fault this was happening. Since we had our children she has been on a couple of different types of birth control for the last 15 years. One thing those OBGYN doctors will never tell them is that they completely lose their sex drive. They push that crap on you like pimps and get kickbacks from it while laughing all the way to the bank while your marriage or relationship suffers. Since my wife had her IUD removed back in the fall, it took a couple of months and then everything changed overnight. I don’t know if you’re in a similar situation or not, but I wanted you to know that could be the case. My wife wants it daily now to the point where I can barely keep up and don’t in some cases…which is why I’m here.
I opened up to her this morning about how sad I’ve been and she actually opened up a little bit on the porn front. She’s slowly changing her mindset around what she used to think was taboo.
Thank you. My wife went through something similar being on depo for over 10 years and the doctors even said that was unhealthy. She’s completely off BC now trying to reset herself. I do think I see changes happening with regards to her mood towards sex. It’s still a taboo subject in most regards.
I’ll be honest it took several months before everything changed for her, so I don’t know how long it’s been for you guys, but it took around 2 to 4 months I would say. Then the change was literally overnight. I’m assuming it’s similar to a detox process.
Have you tried lifting weights or exercise instead? Pair it with a meditation practice and you will be unstoppable