Been on here a few weeks and the most valuable thing I’ve come across is the therapy session podcast under resources. I find the guy who is going to therapy, Ben, really articulate and verbalizing things I didn’t even know I was thinking also. Kept finding myself agreeing. I struggle with PE rather than erectile issues like he does but the concepts in general are really helpful. Biggest thing is I’m slowing down now. My previous goal was to make my wife finish as quickly as possible, last as long as I can, and make sex good enough that she’ll want more. I was shooting myself in the foot. I really slowed down last night and it was amazing. Feeling hopeful.
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Good result… and a boost for us all to hear this.
That podcast is what helped you reframe your mental approach to sex? How you described your previous mentality is 1000% me, and I’d love to break out of that.
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I am half way through these podcasts and agree Ben is so articulate and had many moments where I feel he was talking about things I feel and have experienced. Today listening to part 4 when he was talking about how he has viewed his masculinity and how it fit in, it stopped me in my tracks. I have felt very much the same way as he has.
Although I am gay and my partner is a man I have still taken so much out of this series.
It’s starting to. Their conversations are educational and it’s nice hearing him say something I’ve thought of and then hear the sex therapist’s response. I might as well have been the one in therapy. Like I said the biggest thing was the simple concept of just slowing down. Last time I felt much more connected with my wife as a result and I lasted much longer. The podcast has also helped me decide how to approach conversations about sex with my wife that I might’ve been awkward to bring up before.
Two things. One, I came back here to say thank you. Your post led me to Ben’s podcasts. Two, I just listened to the first session and I’m currently wiping tears away from my face and they continue to come down because I am Ben. Minus some of the masculinity stuff, his story so far is mine. And honestly, just hearing him express himself has already helped. I’m walking away from episode 1 with the techniques Cindy gave him for vagus nerve reset and the in-the-moment reframing of not asking why and instead thinking about how I want to feel and then choosing an action to help get closer to that emotion.
Good stuff. I’m looking forward to the rest of the podcast. I wish you well internet stranger. I think you, Ben, and Cindy might have changed my life
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Wow that’s incredible to hear! I’m glad I brought it up because it’s been a really productive week for me listening to them. I’m about halfway through. I think eventually some of the specific techniques (kegels, reverse kegels , etc) will be helpful but if I started with those I think it would’ve just reinforced me being in my head.
Yes. Unfortunately I’ve only had one go at sex since starting mojo 3 weeks ago, and it was a flop (no pun intended) just like all the other times. I was more in my head than ever before.
The inner critic needs some work for sure. If I can get that to quiet down, I’m back in the game (with all these new kegel skills I have now!) 