I donāt know if I consider it an addiction, but Iāve definitely āpainted myself into a cornerā by relying on masturbation and porn in times when the sexual frequency between my wife and I slows down. As a result, Iāve gotten more accustomed to the stimulation I give myself instead of the foreplay between us, so now I have to stroke myself every time to prepare for sexual intercourse. I think itās made my wife insecure at least a few times because she feels like she doesnāt turn me on, which couldnāt be further from the truth. Itās just that somehow, the lust in my mind doesnāt transfer to my initial physical response. Then I get all in my head about it, feeling like a disappointment and getting incredibly embarrassed, which leads to me not being able to finish sometimes when I do get hard. Hoping for the best with this app! My ultimate goal is to get erections from foreplay and sustain them all the way through to completion without having to stimulate myself.
I feel the same way. Coupled with not dealing with life/work stressors for years and getting to the point of burnout last year I have pretty much dissociated with my body and spend all my time in my head. My libido has dropped to very low levels and when I am in the mood have had some ED issues that have added extra pressure on myself. I am only on day 3 but feeling very optimistic using the tools. I feel I have put to much focus on porn and visual stimulation with masturbation and āspectateā too much when with my partner. I then feel guilty for masturbation and not having sex with him it a vicious cycle.
We will get there all we need to do is give ourselves, space and self care using these exercises.
Thanks to all the other guys who have posted and commented in the community it great to know your not alone and a lot of us have similar challenges.
entitled -jade-wombat should try out the Sensate exercises with your wife. They are mindful touching exercises that donāt involve foreplay or sex. I would also encourage you to give up watching porn as I have done. Good luck with the programme.
Thank you for the suggestion! I will absolutely check that out. Much appreciated.