I’m just curious if this is a similar experience. When I’m getting my dick sucked, it works great. I get hard, I cum, everything works. But when I try vaginal intercourse, I can maybe last a couple minutes before I lose the erection. I have not cum inside a vagina in years
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In years?? Damn I would say its just performance anxiety but at that point idk have you checked your testosteron?
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I am in a similar position….
With my girlfriend I can get hard for oral and have an amazing time but as soon as try to put it in her … bam it just stops.
I’ve gone around and around in my head on this , checked testosterone levels ( all good for my age) but I just can’t do it … then nothing works to get me turned on again.
Its definitely performance anxiety but I’d love know what other people have tried to get over this
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Get a toy, use lube. I’ve been feeling I just wasn’t familiar with the sensation in a vagina. A hand can easily do “hard and fast,” more effectively than is typically possible in penetration. Masturbating is often done passively laying or sitting down, whereas penetration involves active hip thrusting in order to feel the sliding sensation that is meant to stimulate is and get us to eventually climax. I’ve been resensitizing, for example, and training with the toy with hip thrusting as well. It’s a lot of stamina in order to hip thrust to almost getting to the same level of “hard and fast” that the hand is capable of, mostly I run out of steam before that point (and my partner too), can’t go long enough to get myself to that point, and depending on the position it may get tiring which redirects blood away to the muscles in my legs or maybe in bearing weight on my wrists. I still rely on, when I decide now is as good a time to CHOOSE to cum, to pull out for a little “hard and fast” with my hand to get me clise to the edge before sliding it back inside for the moment of release which of course feels amazing when inside.
This is literally the same with me , oral is amazing. But when it comes to sex, I get anxiety of what could go wrong , heart starts racing and then it just goes limp.
Will mostly likely be performance anxiety. It’s hard to overcome when it’s been a long time. I’ve not had unaided sex for a lot longer than that. But when I become comfortable with my girlfriend at the time, things changed. It just means you’ll have to stick through longer to battle your inner critic, but you will!
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You guys are getting oral?
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Same thing for me. I know the reason why is because I’m too worried about pleasuring her and I feel like I need to make her finish to finally enjoy sex because I felt like it’s a test. I know this is going to sound dumb and counter intuitive but what helps me is my wife basically said, I was never a Sex God. Sex is sex . Good sex bad sex she will love me the same. It was always good but not the reason she is with me. Just hearing that took a lot of stress off of me and my penis. For me it’s not going to be 100% (why I’m still here) but it has definitely upped my batting average ( so to speak). I talk to your partner and ask what else they like… Think of it as a backup. Anyways those are what helps me.
Thats good to hear man do you still strugle?