Is it normal to not get hard by cuddling? My partner thinks something is wrong with me if I don’t instantly get hard at the touch of her butt.
What has you guys’ experience been? Please help! Thanks.
Is it normal to not get hard by cuddling? My partner thinks something is wrong with me if I don’t instantly get hard at the touch of her butt.
What has you guys’ experience been? Please help! Thanks.
Cuddling and touch might get your desire started but not necessarily arousal. It’s just a starting point. I love touching my gf butt but it doesn’t make me hard. Sometimes it might a bit if she’s in her underwear only.
Hey, I don’t think it is reasonable to expect a man to get hard instantly irrespective of the touch. I find it helpful to relax when cuddling and see where it goes - nature can take over…
I have been dealing with this exact issue for the past year. My wife referenced that I used to be hard just from cuddling with her and ever since I have become hyper aware of myself not being hard when I hold her and it puts me in fight or flight big time. It has become a self fulfilling prophecy now that I won’t and I have found myself avoiding it whereas I used to jump at the chance.
We talked about it recently and she said that she doesn’t want me to be hard all the time when Im cuddling her but I am having a difficult time believing it to be true.
I keep telling myself that more connection is better than less connection but it is difficult when I feel like that expectation is looming over me.
The issue is that popular media makes it seem like men can just start having sex whenever and wherever. And so it creates this expectation and then makes me feel lesser than average man.
I shied away from physical contact for a long time. I’d really encourage you not to do this - but to engage and tell your partner, that even if you do not get hard instantly with just a cuddle that does not in any way reflect that you do not find her/him desirable…
I’ve also gotten his criticism. Seems like women think we are all porn stars that pull down our pants and we have an instant hard on.
In reality you need physical stimulation and she shouldn’t be surprised at having to make a soft penis hard.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on you which will only makes things worse, I think you should communicate that with her. Personally I need a fair bit of stimulation to get it up, much more than a cuddle. For me it takes kissing, touching body parts, dirty talk, foreplay etc. depending on the day depends on how much it takes. But a simple cuddle won’t do it for me unless I’m just super in the mood already