I am 27 and Feel like im at the end of my rope here , i have been with my new girlfriend for a month and she is not comfortable touching me when im soft, which always gets me hard if im not automatically there. We have had sex once in the last month, successfully and were both getting really frustrated. It makes her really insecure when I don’t get it up and while it’s happened with other women, it typically goes away after a week and we have regular intercourse so I am starting to get concerned I’m going to lose her because I can’t get it up myself.
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Seems like both of you need a little more patience and understanding. The fact that the softness goes away after a week means you might be scared when you first have sex with a new partner, but it’s good that it goes away. If she decides to leave, then she’s not mature enough to have a long term relationship with you. It sucks in the moment if that happens but not as bad as walking on eggshells your entire life if you two commit to marriage for example.
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It’s really a dual effort with this kind of problem. I’m also fairly new to the app and I can assure you if my girlfriend just stood there and waited while I tried to get myself hard it would cause an insane amount of added pressure on me which is not the ideal environment for sex. In a way it turns you into a performer which shouldn’t be the case. Her not wanting to touch you while soft is gonna make it a lot harder for both of you as it puts more pressure on you to be able to get it up.
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