Ive been hitting the gym loads recently over years and im in good shape. Im doing daily kegels and reverse kegels also over the past few weeks and yet when Im with my girlfriend and she’s giving me head or using her hand, I feel calming i supposed and yet when I feel like I want to have sex with her I check that Im hard and Im not I’m like half mast constantly it just squishes down kinda even with her doing that stuff to me. I have no clue honestly I was just enjoying the head trying not to think much of needing to be hard. I don’t even masturbate or watch porn anymore so I’m just a bit lost and don’t know what to do
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I can only offer my experience to give you hope. This would happen to me a lot, I started using stuff like viagra to help.
I’d have this one girl over every couple weeks, take a pill, boom. Usually on the way to the bedroom.
Then one day we were just so caught up, it was happening before I had the chance to take a pill.
That was my first unassisted penetrative erection (and orgasm) in years.
Recognize things don’t change over night, find a partner that understands (most do and are very sweet), and stay open to being caught up in the moment. Eventually you will be, it took me 6 months with one partner!
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Hey mate are you able to stay hard when she’s giving you head? If so maybe just focus on that for a bit (if she’s into it) and see if you can stay hard and orgasm that way. Then you can return the favour for her. This way it removes some of that performance anxiety about getting hard enough for penetrative sex. Hope it works out for you.
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I’d recommend trying the box breathing exercises on here, and doing them while you’re fooling around. It really helped me to stop checking “am I hard yet?” and let me just enjoy the sensations of getting there. And when she puts her hand on you, don’t be afraid to tell her how fast or slow to go at first - it can be a massive boner killer for me if she starts going full speed on it straight away.