No Kids for me, problems staying hard

My wife wants kids, but we’ve agreed together not to. She doesn’t want birth control, and using a condom makes me soft.

Knowing inside she wants kids makes it difficult to get hard, as i’m completely paranoid of a slip up. Sometimes we get to having sex, but I can seldom get to the point of pulling out. I worry about pre-cum to the point I asked her to take the morning after pill once. Anyone else as paranoid as I am? Any advice would be excellent.

Cheers from Canada ! Tim.