My story - erectile issues

Hi all, I’m a 24M, new user and taking my first step out by really wanting to make things better. I want to share my story to see if any others in a similar situation or see if there are any success stories. Ultimately I just want to speak my story out there so it’s off my chest.

I lost my virginity at 18, previous to this I was a chronic masturbator and porn addict. I had been masturbating since about 12 daily. In my first sexual encounter, I was throbbing until it got to the moment and she asked me to wear a condom after a night out and I lost my erection and it made me feel horrific like off the inbetweeners. My pal was with me outside with another girl and tried to talk me into it but I was too upset. The girl whispered something reassuring to me before I was about to leave and it made me throb again and then we had sex for a couple of hours but raw and it was great.

Following this I had several successful sexual encounters but I would need a drink in my system and condoms to not be involved and then I would have sex like a pornstar.

A situation arose where I tried a sexual experience of oral sex without a drink and the erection kept coming and going and this is when I realised my porn impact. Furthermore, the previous sexual encounters I did not ejaculate in meant I had realised the impact porn was having on me. I then went cold turkey from porn and masturbation for a month and came back to a lot more sensitivity and being able to have sexual encounters with girls and ejaculate. This happened around 20.

Several experiences later, I tried attempting a more intimate sexual experience with someone I wanted to pursue with mutual friends that worried me. I did so without alcohol and the feelings were overwhelming and my erection was lost soon into the deed even without a condom. This whole ordeal meant the next sexual experience I used sildenafil (viagra) after a night out of drinking. This was unreal and the sexual experience was great in terms of erection.

I then proceeded to have several sexual experiences and all sexual experiences using the assistance of sildenafil. I had stopped using drinks after trialling this after and realised I didn’t need the drinks as now I had this tablet.

Fast forward to my current relationship. When we first got together I said I would try eliminate everything and do everything natural. She made me wait to have sex which I really liked as it built the excitement and I would be throbbing around her but sex was not on the table so I wanted it more. Then our first few sexual encounters were without issue so I thought i had conquered it.

However, she made a couple points of wanting to keep improving the sex. This along with a comment about her ex (this was my fault as I found it out), made her witness my first ED problem which she felt very upset about and therefore it made me feel the worst I’ve ever felt and overwhelmed. Therefore, the next sexual encounter I used a tablet, this was reliable and again fixed it temporarily. I then tried to do without it but it wasn’t working again.

Since then I have been using taldafil and more often than not erections are good and so is the sex. I also had gone to a CBT therapist who helped and made some improvement alongside the event of that ex comment etc. However, there are still times I lose my erection during sex and feel myself thinking about it too much and unaware if I can fix it.

I have had tests done and apparently there is nothing wrong physically (test levels etc), but there is a potential of my thyroid but when I went to the GP they said it was still alright. I am very active and my cardio is great. I get erections in the morning very regular. I take several supplements now to up my nitric oxide intake (beetroot juice, watermelon and NO booster from nutri cost).

I don’t know whether all the supplements and the tablets are overkill. I don’t know whether I’m beyond the point of help due to everything that has happened. Furthermore the years of daily porn and masturbation in adolescence could’ve had this impact. I have recently looked into going to a urologist, ED shockwave therapy and the injections as I still feel a compulsive need to want to completely rule out every possibility that it’s a physical issue as it’s more tangible and easier to solve. I don’t know how much I can be psychologically helped but I still will keep trying. I am a very masculine individual and extremely confident but it’s this one area in my life that seems to let me down. My partner even has said what has been happening down there does not match anything else about me which is why it’s even more confusing.

I now will begin this mojo journey to see how it impacts me.

Apologies for the long post but rant is over. Any insights or even discussions would be appreciated. Cheers for your time.