Hello,
I’ve just joined this community and I thought I’ll share my story to connect with you all.
I wasn’t sexually active until I left home to University in another city. Within the first week I had already downloaded Tinder. I wanted to lose my V card so bad. My first experience was when I bought a girl home from a bar, she was a bit older and experienced. I was so nervous my heart was racing, I couldn’t get hard at all. She was nice about it but I was disappointed in myself. I kept trying to bring girls over when going out drinking, but most of the time I was way too drunk most of the time. I was quiet and self conscious kid, so needed alcohol to loosen up and gain enough confidence to talk to a girl.
90% of the time I couldn’t get hard at all. One time I did, but I was sober. I stayed hard for most of it but still couldn’t cum. That’s until I met my first gf, now ex (lol) I struggled at the start which made me finally go to a doctor for some pills - viagra. They helped a fair bit which lead to first time cumming! We tried without pills a few times and everything worked seemed to work fine for the first 6 months of our relationship.
Then for what ever reason she started having problems in the bedroom, she had a tight pelvic floor. This ment no penetration for the rest of our relationship - which lasted another 2 years.
When we broke up, I wanted to get back out there after being deprived of penetrative sex. So I got tinder again. The first few girls I saw I had the same issues - I couldn’t get hard or stay hard. I was extremely frustrated thinking this was it, I just couldn’t have sex.
I reached out to clinic which specialises in men’s sexual health. I ended up getting a subscription for tadalafil which boosted my libido and performance greatly. However this subscription was very expensive for a year, a few $ks. At the time it didn’t bother me as I was fucking a few times a week and going several rounds.
After a few months of this, I realised this wasn’t sustainable. I simply couldn’t afford it. So I stopped paying for the subscription, now I only have a few pills left which I use for special occasions if needed.
So here I am, trying to get to the root of the issue. Which I believe is psychological, because I could fuck fine when I am comfortable with the person I am with. This had lead me to dating seriously for a partner rather than short term pleasure.
I hope my problems resonate with some of you. I am here to say you are not alone. Most men go through this.