It’s all about what is going on in my head. If I’m stuck in my head, I lose that feeling of being sexy and feeling desired and having desire, I lose connection to my body which is what causes the loss in firmness of my erection. I have self esteem issues in general, which I’ve been able to reframe in other areas of my life, but sex just has been the most challenging thing for me, sexual confidence. I need to take stock of all the ego boosting bits, when I have been the object of a woman’s desire, when she was eager to be intimate with me, that they got tremendous pleasure from how tender a lover I can be and how attentive I try to be. The rest is all mental noise that gets in the way. But to remember the best, of the past and even the present, and not discount this but rather celebrate this, that I AM a virile and potent man who is desired and capable of giving tremendous pleasure to my partner.