So my problem isnt achieving an erection, or even maintaining it as such. If I am getting head I am usually fine. If I am by myself? Even finer… but as soon as I put it in my partner I lose sensitivity as I dont feel the sensation where I need it - the tip of my penis.
In fact, I don’t feel much of anything. I feel like I am thrusting aimlessly. She is giving me positive feedback, apparently enjoying it, but I cant even tell if I am still hard or soft because I cant really feel myself inside of her. When I am erect I am of reasonable size and I dont want to put the problem on her and imply that she’s loose or anything like that.
I have been seeing a sex therapist for the past two months with limited success. She suggested teasing the outside of her vagina with my penis for a while until her pussy tightens and contracts and then going for it, I’ve not tried that yet, but it seems like something that may take me further out of the mood than further in.
So what I am asking is has anyone seen or done anything that has increased penile sensitivity and feedback during sex? My girlfriend has been incredibly patient waiting for me to get this together and I need more than mindfulness exercises and feel good woo woo. I need actionable strategies and I need real life examples.
Thanks guys.
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Ive has the exact same experience in the past. I’ve found that some positions don’t do much for me for whatever reason. I’ve also found that penetration feels very different than masturbation. My suggestion? Stop masturbating with a death grip, assuming you do that, get the best feeling condoms you can that are still safe, do the desire boosting meditations on this app, and try some new positions that feel good based on the size, but also the SHAPE of your cock. You want your head to be pressing against the sides, front, or back of her cervix. If you curve in a certain direction, take this into account. For example, an upward curve is good for missionary, a downward for doggy. If your girl likes to ride you, try reverse cowgirl for a bit. Make sure her hips are elevated by a pillow in missionary and ask her to cross her ankles once you’re in there for extra tightness. Just some ideas!
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I appreciate the reply. I’ve just looked up best sex positions by cock shape and it has come up with missionary, spooning and doggy style. We tend to do spooning position a fair bit already and I still have the issue. Doggy can be hard for me due to comparative height but next time I might have her put her knees up on some pillows or something. That will probably be my next thing but unfortunately Ive gone and injured my knee and am on crutches.
I will try the meditations.
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how often do u masturbate, and when u do, is it to porn? i had the same thing and it was bc porn desensitized me, took a long time to resensitizs it
I was masturbating most days, but only occasionally to porn although the thoughts Id think about were usually porn related. How long did it take?
For me, I went solo daily for years. I’m a couple weeks into quitting porn and solo (90%…) and hoping to resensitize myself.