Hi everyone,
I spoke to a sexuologist yesterday, and mentioned that I often tense my pelvic floor to keep my erection. I somehow taught myself to do this almost automatically when my erection comes up.
She told me that I should stop doing kegels and focus on how to relax and let go, because arousal and relaxation are the key to healthy erections.
I do notice that when I tense my pelvic floor, my erection briefly hardens, but the tension might actually diminish the blood flow. Also, mentally, the idea of having to actively work to keep the erection is what leads to spectatoring, I suppose.
I think reverse kegels can help to relax the pelvic floor, but on recommendation by my sexuologist I’m going to see a pelvic floor physical therapist, to get some professional guidance on this issue.
Just wanted to put that out here, firstly to warn others, but also maybe to hear about other people’s experiences dealing with similar issues.
If you want to learn how to let go and relax during sex, you might want to stop focusing on and creating tension in your pelvic floor.
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Hmm would love to hear others chime in on this
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Yeah i feel the same i’ve noticed that even when i’m not having sex my pelvic area is really tense. So trying to focus on consciously relaxing it and using reverse kegels
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Agree with this. I actually developed chronic pelvic pain syndrome partly as a result (so my doc said) of having done kegels for years, often unconciously. I would tense my pelvic floor in moments of stress. Working with a physiotherapist gave me good pelvic floor exercises to alleviate the pain, and reverse kegels are also useful. Just my experience and i’m sure kegels have their benefits but i’m wary of them.
The idea is to do the kegel exercises but not during sex. You’re correct as we perform best when we release any tension and relax so doing kegels during sex is counter productive.
I do get that, but I feel like doing the kegels makes my pelvic floor overly tense and it mentally makes me more focused on the pelvic floor.
I think the goal is relaxation. I’m seeing the physical therapist soon and hope to gain something from that.
Of course everyone’s situation is different, but for people who have a relatively tense pelvic floor or an overactieve one, I think kegels are likely counterproductive.
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Thanks for your reply. Glad you managed to alleviate the pain.
I noticed some pain in the area myself a while back when I was doing kegels a lot.
I also tend to tense my pelvic floor when I’m stressed. I’m trying to do deep diafragmatic breathing when I notice that I’m doing that, as I notice that it relaxes my pelvic floor.
I’m hoping to get some more insight into what I might be doing wrong when I visit the physical therapist.