I lost my erection during fucking a date of mine. The moment I started thinking about it performance, I lost it, and couldn’t get it back later.
We spoke about it, and she seemed real cool about it. She suggested we should do thc gummies, and then cook food. So we did, because at that point it was still pretty clear that I would stay for the night. But later she said she didn’t feel right and that I had to go. Tried to kiss her goodbye and got the cheek.
Not sure what happened here, but I strongly believe it was because I couldn’t get it up. I feel absolutely gutted and fear that this might happen again when I date other girls.
Dude that sounds really stressful. I can see why you think that but if it was me I would consider that maybe there was something else bothering her. She could have her own shit going on. Especially since she seemed to suggest it was all cool at the start.
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Even getting up to bat is a good accomplishment. Take some time to practice anxiety reducing exercises and getting out of the negative thought cycle. Focus on your journey more than what will happen with a girl. There will be more.
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Thanks for the advice. I had followed thus Mojo program for a month and felt like I was coming along fine.
I don’t blame this girl for not wanting a guy who is struggling with this, but it just feels bad.
I tend to see first time sex with a girl as some sort of test, which leads me to be more anxious. The fact that this girl rejected me after I lost my erection and couldn’t get it back, seems to confirm that it can be some sort of test. That freaks me out.
But I’ll continue this journey. I think I’ll also speak to my doctor again about this issue.
Well, alternative explanations might be possible, but I really had the idea that she just took some time to think (she had taken a shower), and then decided that it was probably not going to work out with a limp dick, and considering that she felt uneasy due to the gummies, she decided it was best that I’d leave right away.
I feel terrible about it, but I really can’t blame her. We were just dating, and she probably has plenty of other options with guys who do not have this problem. I might have done the same in her position.
Hey man - you’re not alone. I had this problem just this weekend with someone I had been on three dates with and was having sex for the first time. Foreplay was great, but when it came time to put on the condom, my penis got performance anxiety and didn’t want to play. It was hard not to feel anxious and concerned about myself in the moment. She was nice about it and invited me to just cuddle and sleep over. She asked a lot of questions about it too (is it drug use? Is it alcohol? Is it me?). I didn’t mind the questions but I couldn’t get an erection the rest of the night, even after some sleep. I decided to leave around 5am because I dreaded the thought of trying to have sex in the morning.
When I was thinking about how to handle this with her, I felt that I had to address it head on. I think that’s better than just trying to sweep it under the rug and never speaking of it again. Below is (part of) the text I sent her, hopefully it’s helpful to you and others. She was extremely considerate about it when I sent this and I felt relieved.
“Lastly I’m sorry we couldn’t have sex. That is really weighing on me. I still had a lot of fun fooling around with you but of course I can’t get that part out of my head. It’s also probably the reason why I felt like I needed to leave so early in the morning, I just felt ashamed of myself. Anyway, it’s a mental thing I need to work on and I’m trying to find ways to address it on my own. I appreciate that you were kind and patient about it, I just gotta find a way through.”
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Thanks for sharing, brother. Sounds like your story is indeed quite similar, except for the fact that this girl made me leave. I can relate to your story about dreading having to try to have sex in the morning again, out of fear of failure. In my case, after I lost my erection while fucking her, we cuddled, I rubbed her clit, kissed her, licked her. Frustratingly I did manage to get hard again only to lose it once thinking of putting the condom on again.
I thought she would ghost me after last night, but she actually texted me this afternoon, about how the gummie trip was terrible for her, because she was not in control of her emotions, and that made her feel really uncomfortable and uneasy. She also said that we were having a lot of fun until the gummie kicked in. She thanked me for understanding. According to this message it does seem like it may have been about the gummie trip, but then again turning the cheek when I kissed her was a very strong message to me, so I still think there’s more to it than just this bad trip.
Now I did write to her that I understand how such a trip can mess with your mind, and that I understand she needed space to calm down. I haven’t said anything about my inability to keep my erection in that message.
I do feel really attracted to this woman, so I might send a message similar to the one you wrote. I just don’t know whether I should imply that she sent me away because of my ED, because if it was really not about that, it might offend her. I think I’ll just wait and see if and how she replies to my latest message, and then decide where to go from here. I want her to know that I like her and am willing to try to deal with my erection issues, but that I can totally understand if she can’t afford to wait for me to fix my issues. If she’s understanding, I’m sure I could rebuild my confidence and have pleasant sex with her.
Had this same thing happen a few months ago. Went over to her house and couldn’t get it up, then she kicked me out and gave me the kiss on the cheek. But after talking with her more recently she said she kicked me out because she was overwhelmed with her own emotions (thinking she was the problem and it was her fault etc) so the same thing probably happened here so don’t feel ashamed of yourself we all in this together
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Bro, I just wanted to come back to say you were right. She told me that the gummie trip scared her because she was not in control of her emotions. She said she definitely wanted to meet up again. I guess it’s a typical example of how my anxious mind catastrophises everything. I might pop a pill of tadalafil for some extra confidence next time though.
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If you’re not going to say anything useful then why say anything at all? Does stomping down on others make you feel better about yourself? I think the idea of this community is to support each other, so just be kind to others or move along.
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Keep going bro. For the right ones they will
Never make you feel bad about it. You are a human being it’s impossible to perform perfectly all the time. Sometimes even guys need more trust in a partner before letting themselves go. I’ve had this happen to me before the best thing for me is going down on them until they cum and taking the focus of yourself. And then when you get abit more aroused you can just go for it and have sex. But if that doesn’t happen don’t beat yourself up