Inner critic sexual changes

My issue is I feel like I think too much about it.

I will get an erection why caressing and performing oral sex. During that time I will lose my erection. When my wife orgasms she is ready for vaginal sex. I a m usually semi hard and become erect while thrusting during vaginal sex.

Now, I think back, when I never had an issue, I always had no problem with instantly becoming erect. My problem I think , the sex was so good, so compatible with my wife, that I over thought about it. I had never met anyone with my level of sex drive. I started orgasming way too soon. Now, after almost 3 years of being together, I think my brain compensated by learning not to become erect instantly to prolong my time with penetrating sex with wife. Being semi erect in the beginning and letting myself become erect inside of her became my normal way. Times vary on how long I last now. Sometimes longer sometimes shorter. Different positions feeling different and more arousing. When being more aroused, it’s bringing me closer to the edge of cumming. She gets annoyed because I stop or slow down or change my speed in order to not cum. It helps somewhat sometimes, then it starts building up to the feeling of I am about to cum. Then at times I feel or think I am losing an erection during sex. I have to move quicker to keep my erection and then cum within about 5 minutes.

Ugh!!!really want to be myself before this happened

I’ve got a similar thing .
I was upset about how much sex my wife and I were having. But at the time she would orgasm maybe 1/3 or 2.3
So then I did some research and really worked on making it great for herm now she comes almost every time but I’m soft by the middle. I think for myself. A big part of it is that she doesn’t orgasm from penetrative sex (which is like most women) and so my inner critic is like, well she’s not enjoying this part anyways, then I lose it. Even if I’ve already made her cum.