Ever since college I have struggled with erection issues since the night I attempted to lose my virginity. My anxiety stems from that first experience. Long story short, it solved itself with a partner during college. Once we ended I began sleeping around with different people and the issue returned of being able to achieve an attention and losing it upon insertion/ during the first 10 seconds.
I am now in a new relationship. Historically my issues have fixed itself after 1-2 times of failing. We have been saying now for a month and there have been multiple low points in between some sex that has been supported by viagra and Cialis. Both of those helped me, but last night I lost an erection when we began hooking up. I’m now back to the point where I feel my lowest and I hate having to explain to her. “It happens more times than not” meaning my issues are now outweighing our sex.
I need help finding solutions, I have read and practiced so much but really nothing seems to stick. I have a great diet, workout a lot, sleep well, am young, and get boners very consistently.
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Damn i am really in this shoe and man …it makes me fing sad always
Bro it absolutely sucks. Sorry you’re going through this right now, but just know that you already have all the tools to change. There are tons of causes— unrealistic expectations/ desensitization from porn, death grip when jerking off, or just worrying all the time about pleasing your partner. For me, it’s been a constant struggle in trying to perform for my girl rather than realizing that I deserve to feel good too. Learning how to be more selfish in the bedroom has made all the difference for me. These days it feels like men are expected to have 9 inch hogs and last 3 hours in multiple positions. That’s not real. I think step 1 is to figure out what is really holding you back, or what causes the anxiety in the first place and when, really pinpoint that and even write it down, then use the resources here and on youtube or reddit or wherever to create a plan to tackle that. Meditation, visualization, communication with your partner, and you’ll start feeling more confident just from that. You got this man. It’s possible. We owe it to ourselves to put in the work and have great sex without the pill