So i have been in a relationship just over 1 year. Before i didint have sex for 6 years. Im 26 btw. Fit and healthy. The sex for the past 11 months has been amazing and got better with time. However, lately i have been struggling to get hard and cant even get it up to be semi-hard. It all started one week on Tuesday where i really struggled to get it up, that gave me anxiety and for the past 8 days i couldn’t even get hard alone or with her. This has really made me anxious and disappointed. We did have a an argument and almost ended our relationship and she says she doesn’t feel as turned on anymore because of our relationship being in a turmoil. I also used to take HIMS mints for a couple months which gave me huge erections but recently ive stopped that. I also smoke and eat lot of sugar which ive just started cutting down. I came to mojo and its my first day, i hope this helps me. If anyone has any advice please share with me. I would love to get back my confidence in bed and better blood flow to my genitals.
Why did you stop taking the hims mints if they were working?
Hey buddy consistently try box breathing there is a visual teacher here you can follow along with also different breathing exercise for relaxation here too ,maybe you are just too tense or it could be mental struggle , try breathing it out and will help or also try products like mutlivatimans or ashgawanda , those help too
Because id rather get it up naturally. They were really good but also they made me lustful and a sex monster. It was addictingly bad. So i had to stop
Hey bro. I’m 100% in the same boat. It all comes down to self talk. You need to talk highly about yourself. Don’t even joke about self-criticism. You’ve said it yourself, you’re young and healthy.
What has been helping me lately, is trying to really build the non-sexual connection. Go on dates and have fun. Be as intimate with her as you can WITHOUT actually having sex. Don’t full on grope her in public, but my fiance and I love to tease each other in public just enough to not attract any attention. She’ll gently graze over my dick. I’ll smack her butt, etc. You need to get back to enjoying her and touching her, but don’t even have sex. Don’t plan on it, don’t even let it be an option. Don’t lay in bed with her. Just have fun. Do as much as you can with her in places that you shouldn’t have sex. This helped me a lot because I’m not going to have nervous erection issues in the middle of a bowling alley, because I know we’re not having sex there. And guess what I’ve noticed, I’ve started getting erections again. Then when I did have sex with her again, the entire time I told myself in my head “hell yeah, you’re awesome, she’s awesome, and you’re about to have great sex with this beautiful woman”. Then when we are having sex, I only think about what I’m feeling. Her touch, her skin, my love for her. It’s been working for me great after having 3-ish months of issues.
Lastly, don’t be afraid to pop a pill to help you get it up. I agree that you should get it up naturally, but if it helps you get some confidence, use it. Stop using it after a few good times having sex, because there is less pressure to perform after you’ve already been having good consistent sex
Thank you, i will do
Hey bro, thanks for writing all that out! Thats actually solid advice. My problem is i expect sex all the time and sometimes the foreplay is way too short and i jump into sex while my partner isnt fully turned on. You’re right, i have to stop expecting it and stop thinking about it all the time. I need to stop planning it and etc. I really appreciate what you said there. Thanks again.