It has been many, many years since I’ve had sexual intimacy with my wife.
Now I am considering going to a sex worker but am too shy to actually do so. Has anyone on Mojo been with a sex worker and what can I expect? Is it okay to just be with them without doing the act?
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I have never been with a sex worker but I am very sure that you can also play cards with her or watch a movie, instead of having sex. After all, you are paying her and she is not expecting anything of you. Hence, no shyness or nervousness is rational here. I would be much more concerned about how the wife feels about it 
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I think it’s totally ok to try to get what you need from a sex worker. Obviously go around it in the most ethical way, be clear with her and you can also just say that you are nervous about erections or any other problems. They are literally professionals and you’ll be surprised how good they can be at their job. Consider them some sort of doctor who is caring about your intimacy wellbeing
My guess would be they would be more than happy to sit and chat. Are you going to let your wife know, or have you already discussed it?
No I haven’t discussed it with my wife. Not even hypothetically. Too scared.
You mentioned you’re scared about discussing it with your wife, I would suggest if you’re scared don’t directly start the conversation about the sex worker stuff but start at least telling her your problems and she should hopefully listen to you and care about you
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I have discussed my ED problems with her including me getting a vacuum pump. However it is “my problem” and not " our problem".
My suggestion would be to have another conversation with her and explain about how it is “our problem”, and how this issue is affecting your relationship. If not, then potentially couples counselling could help to assist with communication between the two of you?
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What, in theory, are you hoping would be different with a sex worker? No pressure? No past together? Is there some specific thing that you suspect would be different/better/absent?
Something that would be different is experiencing the sensation of my penis being in a vagina again. But I would need to be comfortable with her before even attempting sex.
I’ve been to 6 sex workers, with mixed results. Going through a break-up (with a divorce looming) shook a lot of my confidence. My motivation was new experiences, rather than raging urge. All of the sex workers that I’ve seen have been nice, all quite natter of fact about it. You usually give them some sort of idea what you want when you are arranging the appointment, so you can judge it by then. My best experience was with a Polish girl and it felt quite natural and girlfriendy. I’d definitely warn you away from a big age difference, it’s just too weird. I was most excited about the latin American sex workers , but also a lot of what you might want (kissing, mutual stuff) can be extra and kind of ruins the flow.
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Yes sex workers are great, there’s no pressure on you and they’re not going to be disappointed if you to perform, because they’re getting paid no matter what. So of course you don’t have to do the ACT you can do whatever you want, especially the first couple times until you’re less nervous about it.
I’ve been with a number of sex workers. It is entirely a business transaction so they’re probably not going to care or even prefer to not do the deed. On the other hand to really achieve what you seem to be looking for (familiarity and being super comfortable with her) is going to require multiple visits…which can get pricey. But if you let them know from jump you to be a regular you should be good
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Thanks guys for your encouragement and helpful advice. I brought the subject up again with my wife and finally found out why she didn’t want sex. I’m not at liberty to disclose the exact reason but it has to do with her physiology.
I saw my G.P. and he has prescribed Sildenafil for my ED issues.
I am still hesitant to see a sex worker. Maybe it will happen one day.
You can always start small like just hand stuff or touching her body so you get used to basic sensations again. But also you gotta make sure your wife is completely okay with it, you don’t wanna let any resentment build at home. Be as honest as possible.
So your wife too is affected by issues of her own? At least that takes some of the pressure off you. Hopefully she can seek and find help for her problems too.