I am just recently out of a relationship and marriage that lasted around 13 years. I am in my late thirties.
I met someone recently via an app, and we have been having sex (though I have experienced a lot of performance anxiety, and thus have had to rely on Viagra, unfortunately).
Part of me would like this connection to develop into a relationship, but another part of me recognises that this may not happen and is interested in doing things that I simply wasn’t capable of (owing to erection problems and a profound lack of confidence) when I was younger. Because of my historic problems with erections, I have hardly had any partners (i.e., for full penetrative sex), and now that I am no longer married, I perhaps would like the chance to explore. Sex for me has always taken place in the context of a relationship.
The thing is, dumb as it may sound, I don’t really understand how to access opportunities for one-night stands and casual sex. When I read online, everyone seems to have had these opportunities (some enjoyable, some not so much).
I am an in-shape, fairly attractive guy who can hold a conversation. I have been on dating apps and have been out with a few women over the past few months, only one of whom I decided that I wanted to sleep with. I find dating apps hard work because it’s rare to get attention from a woman that I feel I’d like to have sex with, and most of the women do not seem to be interested in casual experiences in any case. People always refer to Tinder as a hook-up app, but I haven’t got a clue how to use it in this way.
I’ve never had one-night stands or sex outside of a relationship, and it kind of baffles me how it’s done. But lots of people seem to hook up all the time.
Does anybody have any tips please?