Kissing and biting
like t\her to help me apply the condom, tell me in no unbarred comments want and where she want it put.
I don’t. I just sit there with no erection and no sex drive wondering what the f*** is wrong with me because my penis works fine aside from when I actually need to use it. I must have extremely powerful mental blocks that have held me back for years. I just want to know what it’s like to actually have an orgasm with someone because I have never climaxed with a girl in my entire life and it’s starting to beat me up mentally.
When I’m not in my head and just in the moment it flows perfectly. Focusing not only on her but also that it feels great for me too.
i think I just quickly give up the idea of penetration and just move on with other things, but I have a massive fear of being selfish and i think that puts me off as well
Keeping my eyes on my partner or focusing on continuous kissing or pleasuring myself in between helps keep the sexual flow going because both are arousing for me. This prevents me from getting too in my head or allowing myself to move to my head because I am still enjoying the moment physically although there is no penetration.
Often times I’ll have her play with her self while I watch and do the same to myself to keep that sexual rhythm going. Also I think it can be quite beneficial to introduce toys into the bedroom as well. Use one on her and watch her moan while you tease her with it will almost always help keep you in that moment. I don’t use condoms as of now but they definitely were a buzz kill. She could put it on with her mouth or stroke you while she puts it on herself.
Give myself time. Time for foreplay and time to enjoy other sensations. I think In the past I was worried I was on a timer ticking down the seconds until I lost my erection. This made everything fast and mechanical. Accepting that I have time to get the erection back and that it won’t be gone forever really helps
Keep touching her and focus on her body.
My partner will sometimes rim me, which really turns me on. It takes the focus off my penis and I can concentrate on another pleasure that my body is experiencing. It makes me feel more passive and that I’m not the one who has to perform.
I take pills, smoke a joint to keep my mind off the worries. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Take a calm breath and let my anxious thoughts float away. In doing so, get out of my head and into my body
If I lose my erection, I often try to get back in the zone by focusing on my wife, her face her body. I am strongly visual, so looking at her in open and revealing positions really helps. Unfortunately she often feels self-conscious and has her own body image issues so she feels vulnerable in that state and withdraws, triggering my fear of her not enjoying herself or not being attracted to or aroused by me.
I love love love having my wife on all fours and having my face in her butt. I am extremely excited by biting her butt cheeks, and licking and sticking my tongue in her ass. On very rare occasions she can get over her taboo and enjoy this, but I think most of the time she is not into it, and possibly just tolerating it for my sake, knowing that it might help me. This is the opposite of arousing for me. but when she is into it, it is so powerful and gets me hard instantly.
By physical stimulation
If I lose my erection during oral sex we move on to other things usually I turn to toy play on her.
Dirty talk,
Physical affection!
I find that applying lube before intercourse helps to make or keep me hard
I try to go down on my partner if I feel myself going soft so that she is still satisfied but she knows that and feels me panic so we stop
Keep telling each other what feels good as it’s going.