I’ve been struggling with ED my whole life. I started having sex a little later at 21 years old and by that time and I had already been consistently watching porn and masturbating for about 6-7 years. In the last 4-5 years I’ve been on a journey of exploring quitting porn and/or masturbation to try and solve what I believe to be porn-induced ED. Long story short, I truly feel that it isn’t the porn and masturbation alone that is causing my ED, but it is that with my lack of actual sexual experience. I think I trained my brain to respond more to porn and masturbation as sex rather than actual sex with another person. And I do think that with enough trying and getting more comfortable with someone else I can also learn to get hard with someone else. The problem is this creates a vicious circle where in order to solve my ED I have to have sex, but my ED doesn’t let me have sex. I haven’t been able to date someone long enough and who I’m comfortable enough with to consistently try, knowing that it will probably be mostly failure in the beginning. So my question is has anyone else felt this way and have any advice on overcoming it? I’ve also been thinking maybe I try other methods to get more comfortable with real people, such as massages or strip clubs. I know it’s a little perverted but I’m just wondering if it will help me get out of my head and get used to someone else being there while getting aroused. Let me know if anyone else has tried anything like this or anything else that has worked.
Have you worked through the exercises in the app. I don’t have porn related ED but by the sounds of it, the exercises have been very beneficial for someone with the same symptoms as you. Your situation is very common my friend.
I agree. You paid for the app.
Use it. All of it. Even the stuff that may seem silly at the time.
The vicious circle you mention must be really frustrating…. And not easy to overcome… I know I was (and still do, a little) avoiding sex, to avoid disappointment/failure.
But the app has worked to a very high degree.
For a start don’t use failure anymore in my vocabulary. I find other words.
But more importantly it’s building confidence, silencing that inner critic…by doing the exercises in the app.
Also sharing this kind of stuff with chaps going through similar has helped me.
I chose to “risk failure” and not avoid sex… because in reality …. It was the only way to progress…
The box breathing, meditation before sex… wax and wane… the basics… they do work…
Trust in yourself buddy … make that leap of faith…
Thanks guys. Yeah I’ve been on and off the app for the past few months but have been really trying to stick to it daily for the past couple weeks and putting as much effort into the exercises as possible. Box breath has helped a lot and I’m trying to get better at the kegels. I’ll keep doing what I can
I hear ya.
Same here.
I lucky enough to find a very understanding woman a few months ago… Once we were starting to get frisky, I was up front with her. (Before I found this app!) I let her know I’d likely get hard during foreplay and oral, but not be able to do the deed or finish.
I promised myself that she’d get off multiple times each session and she does! I’ve gotten pretty good with my tongue and fingers. We even use toys on her. She’s all in!
Using this app, quitting porn and fapping (3 weeks on app, 1 week without porn) has helped!!!
I also use Cialis (didn’t help by itself, but did help while solo…)
Last Sunday I was able to get off from a handy (other than my own!) for the first time in years!
This app works getting yourself out of your head!!!
Good to hear I’m glad things are going well for you! Yeah I’ve been seeing this girl for a couple weeks and it’s getting to that time where we’ll be starting to get more physical. I’m preparing to be open and honest with her and to try and take it very slow but I’m very nervous about that conversation since I’ve never proactively had it (I’ve had to address the issues with people after the fact before tho)