Fetish porn and ED

Hey all,
One of my biggest issues with porn addiction is the fact that I started with and stuck to fetish porn, a lot of it not even dealing with what many would call “normal sex.” Rarely do I watch porn dealing with penetrative sex or intimacy and I think this is my biggest psychological contributor to my performance issues. To me, penetrative sex has just become that shameful thing I can’t pull off. My plan is to obviously cut out the fetish porn, but what can I do beyond that to make intimate real life sex more desirable?

I appreciate you sharing about this—I can relate. At times I have wondered if I’m simply not interested in penetrative sex, but I don’t think that’s the case. Instead, I think I’ve used porn (and especially non-penetrative scenes) as a way to avoid the anxiety and fear of rejection that comes up when I initiate penetrative sex with my partner (or feel pressured to do so).

I’d like to believe there’s a healthy balance between my kinky side and my desire to penetrate and please my partner, and I’m still working out what that looks like.