Hi folks.
A few years ago, I had a bad sexual experience with my then wife. I was really distracted whist we were about to have sex, didnāt get hard, then freaked out a bit. My wife wasnāt particularly supportive.
I tackled this as a lot of guys probably do, bought some little blue pills. After a couple of attempts, I was able to have sex and things improved slightly. The worry and the negative thoughts never really left though, and after a while, the issue returned.
Fast forward to the present day. Iām no longer with my ex-wife, but have started dating my absolute dream girl, the most wonderful person. We had our first sexual experience last night. Very passionate, lots of kissing. I gave her pleasure, but when it came to sex, I physically couldnāt do it, I had to stop. I told her that I was scared, without specifically telling her I wasnāt maintaining an erection.
She was very kind and caring and tried to make me feel at ease. She didnāt put pressure on me. She could tell I was very much āin my headā.
I donāt know what to do. I feel like Iām going to end up losing my perfect woman because I canāt get over this worry that Iāll lose my erection. If anyone could share any similar experience, Iād be grateful. Cheers for reading
Be open with her.
Youāre not going to fix this in time for your next date with her. She knows something is up.
I got out of a marriage to frosty the snow wife and I jerked off the last 15 years of itā¦. I meet this wonderful woman and we hit it off. I immediately open up to her and sheās super supportive of my PED issue. I clearly communicated that itās not her issue, itās mine. Butā there may be things she could do that may help me get through itā¦. (Talking naughty/being forward in the bedroom, being monogamous & getting tested so no condoms, (I verified my vasectomy was intact before dating startedā¦)
I have worked in this app for several months and honestly, the questions and responses have helped tremendously.
To my earlier point- a while back I started messing around in the morning- she asked me to finger her while she played with a toy on her clitā¦
Not sure what was hotter: the ask or the act!!
Overall, taking pressure off you is going to go a long way. Brush up on your oral and finger game so that if your dick isnāt cooperative, you have a solid plan B.
Hi mate. 1st off, thanks for replying to an Internet stranger.
Can I ask, how did you broach that with her, and how did it go down? Massive respect to you for taking ownership
Hey man. Same story as yours as one bad encounter. Where our stories diverge is that my wife felt really bad about it afterwards and had been really supportive since. Also I skipped the pills and was lucky enough to have found this app while I was looking for the HIMs site to buy pills. Honest and open communication is the best way forward in my opinion. It has been a long road but less and less hiccups. This site works. Having open communication with your partner is key. In my marriage at least for the past 18 years my wifeās sexual needs and wants have been the main focus of all our sex (had always worked for me cause I like having sex with my wife). But since this i have gotten to be more vocal about my wants, desires and needs. (Nothing weird or anything). Our sex life has tremendously gotten better she even does some dirty talking for me now. So all I can say is be open about what is going, let her know what turns you on and she can reap those rewards as well. Nothing is going to get better if you battle this by yourself. Who knows, maybe talking with her about both of your needs and wants will open new doors for both of you. Good luck man! You got this and we are all here for each other!