Hi, I’m 24, in a newish relationship struggling with ED and delayed ejaculation. As a teenager I never had any issues with the firmness of my erections, however I discovered 5/6 years ago that I could speed up achieving orgasm when masturbating by tensing my legs. It became a means to an end, and think it ruined the quality of my erections since and my idea of sex. I also wonder if it caused the delayed ejaculation. Currently we can’t perform the full act, we have used Viagra which worked but I couldn’t finish. Foreplay is great, just minus the end product. I often have to jump in to speed things up tensing my legs, and she does the rest. My doctor has ruled out physical issues, so am left wondering what best to do to try and help psychologically. I can stay pretty hard during foreplay but no matter how great it is or how hard I am, I never feel like getting close. Wondering if anyone has similar issues, guidance for what would help me best around here, I’m still quite new.
Yes, I believe my issues with ED are similar to yours. As long as I can remember I’ve tensed up my legs to ejaculate when masterbating. I’m trying to learn through Mojo to relax, control my breath, stay out of my head, and get past this problem. I too have been to the Dr and he prescribed viagra stating it’s a mental issue. That has not helped at all. I’m fortunate my wife is very understanding and compassionate. I’d like to hear any suggestions to get past this problem.
Great to hear from you. Nice to know I’m not the only one, does seem like something that can be worked through. I too am lucky to have an understanding girlfriend - Laela from MOJO was very helpful, and unlocked courses she thought would best aid me. She suggested the mindful masturbation sessions to retrain touch, and others focusing on the pelvic floor, which she thinks will address the leg tensing. This seems to be most likely to help with my situation and I’m already underway with exercises and stretches. Hoping to see some results soon! Maybe messaging MOJO to get these courses unlocked is a good idea for you too. All the best
I have this same issue, and have learned that tensing my legs is kind of a shortcut to tensing the prostate region, which helps in maintaining erections. There are times when I’m just so “in the mood” that it never dawns me to need to tense up, but I have found I’m most likely to need to stiffen up, so to speak, when my mind is most unfocused, I’m tired, my stomach hurts (since turning 40 I have neverending stomach issues), or otherwise am not 100% relaxed.
Unfortunately, tensing up also makes me heat up, which spells disaster when it comes to completing the act, because then I feel like I’m on fire, and it seems like agony to finish. I also am lucky enough to have a very understanding wife, but that need to tense up to orgasm is one of the reasons I found mojo.
I do believe the relaxation, meditation, and generally learning to “calm TF down” is starting to help and prevent me from needing to tense up so much. The mindful masturbation and learning to enjoy my partner’s (softer) touches more, are both helping as well.