Absolutely. One of the videos in the Performance Anxiety section discussed trust, or lack of trust with your body. That’s how I feel most often. Doubt immediately creeps in, I don’t trust my penis to cooperate in the moment, and I end up losing desire and my erection. Rather than keep trying or seeing it as normal, my mind is telling me “time’s up, you’ve lost, time to leave”. Afterwards, I feel depressed for hours, sometimes days.
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I get anxious about getting an erection at the right time and also about getting an erection that’s hard enough for good sex.Now with my partner this is in the back of my mind all the time and I can’t get rid of it. We’ve not had good intercourse for a prolonged period now.
Yes. I expect my penis to be hard as soon as the girl
Yes. Preceding intercourse, I can feel my nervous system kick in where I start to tremble, get cold extremities, and palpitations.
Getting a vasectomy has really helped me with regards to this.
Yes, “timed intercourse” during fertility treatments was how the whole performance anxiety initially set in for me years ago. Glad you are getting help and trying to address this so soon after you recognized it.
I tend to get inside my head during sex, I remember it happening the first time I had sex at 16.(It was something that was built-up for me amongst my friends). It was also something that happened in the later stages of my marriage, Anxiety also affected my ex-wife in a serious way and that had a knock-on effect on my confidence. Following the divorce 2 years ago, it was hit-and-miss, depending on the partner. The anxiety was always there, but I could sometimes get over it. It was embarrassing when I couldn’t. There was some aspect of when the girl was very attractive, it was easier, but if not, I would get inside my head and nothing would happen.
Can be hard, then when putting on the condom, the fear of failure appears. When finding an excuse not to use a condom the issue does not occur.
Anxiety causes me to detach from the moment and that leads to almost immediately losing hardness
Even though I’m aware that my issues stem from performance anxiety, and that sex shouldn’t be seen as something you do for someone rather than experience together, I always get into my head that I’m going to let them down when I fail to get or maintain an erection. And this, of course, leads to erection-killing anxiety! The challenge now comes in not just understanding the notion that sex isn’t a performance, but really internalising it.
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Yes, I always have those thoughts about wether or not I will be able to get it up, which is a worry for me. This happens almost all the time.
I’ve got anxious about being nervous, not experienced or confident, not meeting expectations, not performing and focusing too much on trying to have perfect sexual experience and whether my partner is enjoying it enough. Led me into a spiral of not getting a erection and worrying too much. Felt like a failure, ashamed, embarrassed or something was wrong.
Makes my chest and throat tighten up a little bit, feel slightly panicy and like i am not incharge anymore and i should anything and everything to take back that charge again
I’ve got anxious about being nervous, not experienced or confident, not meeting expectations, not performing and focusing too much on trying to have perfect sexual experience and whether my partner is enjoying it enough. Led me into a spiral of not getting a erection and worrying too much. Felt like a failure, ashamed, embarrassed or something was wrong.
I get immediately anxious when it becomes a possibility and it makes me go in with a really weird headspace
Yes. I’ve just come out of a 20-year relationship and recently met somebody new. The anxiety and self-imposed pressure I felt/feel to perform is enormous and has really impacted my enjoyment. I knew immediately that it was psychological, but still don’t know how to get out of my head, relax and stop feeling the 'performance anxiety - despite the girl in the new relationship being super supportive… Frustrating (which again won’t help
Yes. I’ve just come out of a 20-year relationship and recently met somebody new. The anxiety and self-imposed pressure I felt/feel to perform is enormous and has really impacted my enjoyment. I knew immediately that it was psychological, but still don’t know how to get out of my head, relax and stop feeling the 'performance anxiety - despite the girl in the new relationship being super supportive… Frustrating (which again won’t help
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Negatively.
It gets me down. It upsets me
Yes I do. I get anxious because I think about not performing well, meaning climaxing too quickly or not getting erect at all. Of course this doesn’t help in the whole fear cycle of not performing. Overall it’s just a stressful experience somehow while I know it can be such a pleasure…