Do you ever get anxious during sex? How does it affect you? (Part 1)

I get into my own head. I start to think about what they are going to think if it happens and start like planning the backup plan of how I am going to explain myself here and hope that maybe the next day I will feel more relaxed.

At 17-18 I couldn’t get hard during sex for the first time. I don’t know why, but since then, nearly 10 years later it’s always been an issue since. My brain is such a powerful thing and it just obsesses about whether it’s going to get hard, stay hard or whatever, and then immediately means I’m anxious and worrying about it, so it inevitably does go down or doesn’t get hard at all.I masked it with viagra for years, which was like a placebo. I know the viagra didn’t really affect it because my problem is psychological, but it was like my brain saw it as a fail-safe and with the confidence of knowing I had taken the viagra I often would stay hard longer. However, after years of that it stopped working and now I’m trying to be open, honest and vulnerable and to find other ways. It really affects me and it is the worst feeling in the world when it happens. I avoided sex for many years because of it, but now I’m trying to work my way through it. It’s really difficult and sometimes it doesn’t feel like it will ever get better, but I have to believe that by sharing and working on this issue openly and honestly that there is hope and that I can learn to trust my body again.

I’m worried about my pinus not getting hard to it’s full potential.

ALL. THE. TIME. It prevents sex from occurring. I’m constantly in my own head about performing and pleasuring my partner that I wind up being unable to perform altogether.

I get anxious whenever I sleep with someone for the first time as I overthink my performance and my ability to get an erection. Especially if there is alcohol involved I find it nearly impossible to get an erecting

Yes, I go soft

I never used to get anxious but ever since my 1st experience of not being able to get an erection it planted seeds of doubt with have been growing ever since now i get anxious and it either stops me getting erect or loose erections during sex…

I tend to get inside my head during sex, I remember it happening the first time I had sex at 16.(It was something that was built-up for me amongst my friends). It was also something that happened in the later stages of my marriage, Anxiety also affected my ex-wife in a serious way and that had a knock-on effect on my confidence. Following the divorce 2 years ago, it was hit-and-miss, depending on the partner. The anxiety was always there, but I could sometimes get over it. It was embarrassing when I couldn’t. There was some aspect of when the girl was very attractive, it was easier, but if not, I would get inside my head and nothing would happen.

I have gotten anxious during sex leading up to it hours in advance. It affected me because I would put so much pressure on myself to be great in bed and pleasure my partner that I didn’t remember sex is supposed to be fun! I would get so caught up in ‘performance’ that I forgot about pleasure.

I get really anxious during sex. I want it to be the best for her and I worry that I won’t be enough. I put so much pressure on being this big man and being rock hard and worry that I won’t get hard because I’ve had trouble for so long and had to use medications. Even now, when I take medication, I still worry about it and feel myself being withdrawn from the moment and her because I am thinking about my penis and its level of hardness. It makes me feel like less of a man. It affects how I see myself and that loops into a problem circle where I think I’m less of a man because I can’t get hard naturally, and so when I can’t get hard I feel like less of a man.

I quite often get anxious before sex, having an extensive past of not being able to get it up almost makes me want to avoid sex and thus creates an anxious feeling, leading to me panicking and not being able to get it up, my libido has really suffered from this feeling.

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Yes I do. Unfortunately a single event led me to experience anxiety during sex - I never had any issues before hand. Since then it has made back away from sexual experiences in my relationship as I have found it easier to avoid sex then engage in it with the fear of failure. I haven’t enjoyed sex or any sexual activity the same since.

I start focussing on whether or not I’ll get hard and thats all I can think about. Inevitably it stops me from getting hard

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Previous problems with erectile dysfunction has made parts of sex anxious

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I get anxious about if I’m pleasing her or not and that can lead me to get soft

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Yes, fight or flight kicks in, loss of erection then feeling of depression

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I’m always get anxious during sex. I wish it could be everything more more slow and do a small steps towards penetration maybe on several days. When I get there and maybe it’s the first date and I realize “ok, now this is the moment when we see if it works”, well that’s of course the moment when it stops working

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I can lose my erection or sometimes not get hard

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I get extremely anxious during sex, even though I am not an anxious individual. I have had a handful of sexual encounters that end early because I cannot stay erect. This dysfunction occurs because of negative thoughts that are released from years of buildup in my head.

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Yes, I do get performance anxiety at times. It affects me in a way, more than concentrating on the act, I am concentrating on fighting with myself that “whether I will be able to perform or not” and because I am constantly thinking about this I am unable to concentrate on the act and which in turn affects my erection

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