Do you ever get anxious during sex? How does it affect you? (Part 1)

Always get anxious. Never able to get hard.

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I would say I get anxious all the time. Main problem is not being sure if its physical or psychological. In the past, doctors have said they cannot find a reason why it is happening (however, I also felt the doctors were not taking me seriously due to my age). I can get into a sexual encounter and question if it will stay up, or even get up. I do get through many sexual encounters, but I will go soft throughout. What I find bizarre is its easy to get an erection with a person than by myself. I thought that would be the opposite way around. However, them negative responds follow me.

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I always get anxious the first time with a new partner. With each of my sexual partners I’ve had trouble getting an erection the first time and sometimes the second. It’s embarrassing.

Yes, especially after a problem with performance the prior time. It becomes a viscous cycle that I am looking for tools and techniques to break.

Anxiety about the first time

I often don’t even feel anxious, but still have trouble getting it up, during sex. Something keeps me focused on my erection levels and worrying about it, even if I’m not feeling a significant physical level of anxiety. Anxiety comes only when there is a total lack of chemistry and things are getting awkward. That makes me feel unsure of myself and less in the headspace to get turned on. I’ve tried to focus on letting myself get turned on rather than forcing it.

Yes, um thinking to much leading up to the act, like thinking about am I going to be hard after I’ve finished going down on her etc. So when it comes to doing the deed youre already anxious and subsequently possibly not hard

I’m afraid that I may not get it right

Yes - pressure to perform. These exercises have been excellent. Thank you.

Since my teens, I have experienced not getting an erection with every new woman for the first time of meeting. On the second occasion and beyond there is never a problem.I have never felt nervous, nor worried about anything consciously

yes it makes me worry before i even get to the sex part , if i will be able to get hard, as it has happened before on occasions in the past and it is a real worry that affects me to the point that i have tried avoiding sex in case it happens again

I get anxious all the time during sex. I get anxious that I’m not pleasing my girlfriend and that I won’t be able to keep my erection and once that anxiety begins I find it very hard to stop. We have spoken about it a lot and it keeps happening. There are periods when it is really bad and periods when it is not so bad, but it feels like that guy says in the video, that sex isn’t fun and is just stressful, even though it is obviously meant to be fun.

Yes, I find myself constantly thinking about my erection, and that anxiety takes away from the moment. It actually make me feel numb, both physically and mentally.

Now that I realize, I’ve been anxiously before and during sex for a long time. The first time I couldn’t get it up it stayed with me and I haven’t been confident about my dick for a long time. I think that I need her to touch me so that I can get hard, I think that I have to perform well and I’m afraid of losing wood.It’s embarrassing, and I think about what she thinks when I don’t get it up. I’m now deep into not being able to even get it up, I’m so anxious my brain shuts my penis down. I now understand that I go into fight or flight mode the second I see her, it’s all I think about, am I gonna be able to perform tonight? will I get hard? will I cum quick? will I loose wood…I know it’s all in my head but I’m so blocked its not even funny.This is a new girl tat I’m dating and since I haven’t performed well in the past weeks (like not even been able to get hard) it weighs on me, it weighs heavily and my mind races about what will happen, if she will stay, if she will leave… Safe to say i definitely need to reconnect with my body and just relax.

I do get anxious with new partners - I think because my thoughts tend to spiral and i get so worried that I will underperform. I think this means that i tend to avoid new partners unless I’ve had a few drinks - which in turn feeds into the problem.

My anxiety surrounding sex revolves around getting/staying hard and the more I recognize I’m soft the more anxiety it produces, propagating the issue further

I get nervous as sex becomes a test of how much I like or dislike someone.

I have a really sticky, ruminating mind, so when thoughts get caught up there, it’s hard for me to get them out. Regarding performance anxiety, I take it really personally when I can’t get it up. Most recently, my girlfriend and I have extremely busy schedules, so intimacy will be more rare. I feel pressured to perform in those moments where it happens, which just makes me anxious and inevitably not get hard. Then I leave that interaction thinking about my penis and being hyper aware of what it’s doing and reliving that one experience, thinking it will somehow define our sex life from here on out. I want to end this cycle and become OK with all different kinds of sex.

Yes. I will get all excited on the build up and look forward to the moment but as soon as it comes down to starting or even just taking off my clothes, suddenly my erections bye bye and sarcastically wishes me luck on carrying out the deed

I have had a few different experiences where I couldn’t get hard for the person I was with, or I could and I lost my erection, and so I guess anytime I entered into a situation where me and someone could have sex or were going to have sex, I had that concern in mind, that like shit what is she or he gonna say, should I tell them I have trouble with getting and keeping an erection before we try and have sex…and unfortunately, that’s led to me not trying most of the time, and using porn instead which makes me feel bad. I’m 28 and I’ve only had sex to the point of me ejaculating with one person. I feel embarrassed that I have this issue. I talk about it with some of my friends, but not everybody. I think most of all I feel lonely. You know, at the end of the day I want to feel connection, and so that’s why I want to address my problem rather than letting it continue. I’ve never spoken to a community like this before, but already just from watching the guys and the doctors speak on the videos, I can see that education and support is the way forward for me, and so I’m glad to share my story with you!