Did I make a discovery last night?

Wife and kids are out of town. Decided to do some sensate and then masturbate last night. Had been reading about the PC muscle and kegels and PE during the day. I found an awesome description/detail on how to do reverse kegels and relax the PC muscle. The guidance actually helped me figure out how and what it should “feel” like. Anyway…

As I’m masturbating I’m realizing two things:

  1. For forever and a day my masturbation habits (regardless of porn) have set me up for failure. I’ve been treating masturbation primarily as just a tool to cum, and usually to do it relatively quickly.

  2. I’m not connecting with the feelings of arousal very much when I’m masturbating.

So I have those two realizations and end up having, what I would think, is one of my most gainful sessions ever. I was much more able to detect the onset of “pre orgasm” as I’ll call it…that tingle in your loins when the PC muscle is getting primed and ready for orgasm. And I was able to apply a reverse kegel (pretty well) to prevent the increase in that feeling. So instead of getting to a 9 and then trying to kegel my way off the ledge, the reverse kegel seemed to keep me steady at a 4-6.

I also realized that i need to adjust my mental goal and stop trying to rapidly induce the orgasm. Cumming can’t be the goal of masturbation, because I need it to not be the goal of sex.

So it was productive and enlightening and I hope it’s a good step in the right direction because I’m tired of not being able to get hard, and then when I do and enter my wife, cum in less than 30 seconds.

Positive vibes to everyone! I hope we all find success here.

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I’m in a very similar boat! I think I’m trying to get to a stage with mindful masterbation where even if I do cum earlier than I would want to, I’m fine with it! Trying to apply Mojo’s over generalisation and catastrophising to my own experiences.

Of course, I really want to cum later and wanted to ask you whether outside of masterbation, you do Kegels and Reverse Kegels or just RK’s?

But I think my main goal, even if PE&ED end up being lifelong, is to acknowledge my self worth, and be able to connect with my partner in and outside of the bedroom!

Much easier said than done, thank you for sharing your experience, as I relate so much!! To your 1st point, I need to get to a point where I masterbate sometimes without cumming, to rewire my brain, and just practice what I speak and only focus on pleasure! And your 2nd point was so real, especially because I sometimes use Masterbation as a form of stress relief/procrastination, so it’s a means to an end, rather than a means.

But yeah, what I love about Mojo and mindful masterbation in general, is learning more about my body, where the point of no return is, what relaxation techniques work for me etc!

Have a great day!

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I would love to have a link to the instructions that you found. Things have seemed rather vague.

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https://www.nateliason.com/blog/reverse-kegels

It took me a little bit to find the different feeling/sensation. But once I got it, I knew I had it. Isn’t easy to replicate though and takes some focus/adjustment to keep getting it. I found sitting reclined on a sofa chair helped put my body in the best position to execute. I was able to do it later on lying in bed as well.

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Thanks for sharing that. Like others in the posts. I’ve had similar issues. I’ve always tried to rush to cumming or to kegal when I was at that nine point usually to no avail. I’ve often looked at coming as the final goal, especially during sex, and that I could be relieved and have “succeeded” without losing my erection. I do think it would be helpful to focus on the sensation and the pleasure rather than always focusing on getting to the goal.

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I’ve just experienced similar to your described experience. I’ve been practising Kegals and reverse Kegals for a long while now (about a year) so am pretty good at them. I can hold either kegal for a good while, so tried holding a reverse Kegal while masturbating. I discovered that it held my arousal at around a consistent 5 instead of my arousal ramping up quickly. I found I could then keep stroking without stopping for some time before I eventually got to the where I needed to back off before orgasming. I also found I was far more in tune with my level of arousal.
Good confidence boost. Im sure it’ll be more challenging to hold a reverse kegal while having sex, but it’s shown me it’s possible to maintain a lower arousal.

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Yes! I feel like I’m actually looking forward to sex now. Since PE/ED developed a while ago, I crave sex and fear it all in the same breath because I “know” what’s probably going to happen. Using the app the help train my brain and quiet the critic. Now I feel like I’ve discovered a physical tool that can hopefully help.

I’ve read about PE being caused by ED, by I’ve always wondered if I had somewhat of the opposite. Almost as if my body/mine was preventing an erection to stop me from having to deal with PE (less than 30 seconds sometimes).

I know actual sex is going to be different than masturbating, but I’m connecting to and feeling my arousal like I never have before and starting to get an understanding of how my old masturbation habits (basically ramping myself to a 9 and then trying to back off for a little bit) have probably created a mental connection that promoted PE.

Despite a recent less-than-successful sex session, I’m glad to have this app and having a road map to achieve. And honestly grateful for this community. It’s helpful to know I’m not alone and to see the successes (and especially those that battled through the adversity of failing along the way but have more found success).

Thanks everyone!

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