Dealing with ED caused by Body/Penis Shame

Being overweight for the majority of my adult life has greatly impacted my self and sexual confidence and I believe is a key factor in my psychological ED. I have had sexless relationships and have used masturbation and porn to meet my own sexual needs. So much so that I find sex anxiety provoking. My inner critic presents itself every time causing me to feel anxious and insecure in the moment and lose my erection. I start to doubt my performance and if my partner is enjoying having sex with me, if my penis is big enough, and lots of other questions. I’m thankful to have a very understanding partner who doesn’t shame me but I’m starting to feel sorry for them having to endure my sexual insecurities and ED with me. I stopped masturbating and watching porn two weeks ago and thought maybe that would help me during my next sexual experience but it didn’t, I got in my head and lost my mojo. Any tips, tools, or just feedback to help me not feel so alone as I try and deal with this. Ps, I’ve also started working out two months ago and have lost 30 lbs.

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I’m in the same situation as you and I’m currently working with a therapist on body acceptance. One thing I would point out to you is that in the same way that not masturbating and looking at porn didn’t help relieve you of self criticism and anxiety during sex, it’s my opinion that neither will weight loss. Thats the way the inner critic works, unless I learn how to respond to and sometimes silence the inner critic, no matter how much weight I lose or successful in life I become the inner critic will always be there to tell me how I’m inadequate. Even worse, when I’ve lost weight and regained it the IC becomes even louder and harder to dispel. I need to learn to accept my body and believe that I am accepted by others at any size.

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I think stopping the porn is a good idea - you’ll get through this definitely my friend, keep working on it.

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need to stop porn for longer time (dopomine need time to recover - reprogram), exercise is good and congratulations, will help your health alot, not sure will it help with ED but possibly if you are only worried about extra kg. Good luck m8

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