So I am seeing this girl.Me and her have been going out for like 2 months now so we know each other some what so it’s not like doing it with a complete stranger either. We have tried doing it a couple of times, and I feel aroused around her when we make up, but when it comes to actually doing it even though I want it to happen I get this sensation of unpleasant tightness around my chest or tingling of a sort aaand things go soft and passion goes away. It’s really pissing me off because there are no negative thoughts when this happens for me to counter with logic, just this really unpleasant nervous feeling, so I am not certain what specifically might be the issue. I am nervous by nature so tried some pills to help out unfortunately you need to be horny for them to work so not much help when stressed out. I tried a bit of alcohol before sex to calm me, it didn’t help either. I also try to meditate a few hours before we see each other, but that does not help either when it come to the moment. Any idea how to get this thing off my chest?
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I too have been getting anxious - more physically as you describe than in my head. I’ve been finding myself break out in a cold sweat and shallow breathing as soon as my partner makes a move towards my dick.
I have just this very day tried the box breathing when I felt myself tense up. Today was the first time we’ve tried to be sexual in a while due to this issue. I found that it helped a lot. Not fully resolved - I didn’t get fully hard in the end today - but I did feel more relaxed and I decided not to push it and paid attention to her and breathing in that way. So progress and maybe worth a try for you.
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