Can't get aroused around my wife

can’t get erected to her but i can easily erected on porn, maybe porn actress are more prettier and sexier than my wife

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Had a similar issure before, could be the situation where because you are watching porn your brain has had too much stimulation to different women and acts that you have trained your brain to only be aroused to these things.
So the “novelty” of having one woman in front of you in real life just can’t get you going the way porn can.
Might be worth trying to cut back on porn or work to stop all together to get your arousal levels back to real life interactions.
Not an expert but it’s an idea.
Hope you get sorted and your well going forward friend.

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I’ve been struggling with this same issue for years…. Still dont have a solution. I get erections when sleeping, morning wood, can get it up when watching porn or thinking about scenarios with other women, however when it comes to my wife, i can’t seem to get it up at all. Anyone might have gone through this can advise?

Have you tried the sensate focus exercise(I think that’s what it’s called)? They have it for solo and with a partner so it could be good for you to try to get reconnected with her. And stop watching porn since it sounds like it’s an issue.

The issue is whether you find your wife attractive?
If you do find her attractive and want to be with her than focus on her . Do things together , practice senate focus and if you fantasize than make her the focus and stop the porn.
If you don’t desire her that is a bigger problem and you have to try and reconnect with her or let her go!

Thank you! I have tried to cut porn down in the past and was successfully for a few months, over the last few weeks I have re-lapsed.
When my wife is still sleeping in the morning, i will slip out of the room to watch porn and masturbate. It’s like an addiction which fills me with shame and guilt. We almost have zero sexual interaction but I love her and dont want to lose her. I’ve been in psychosexual therapy for about 9 months now but still struggling to feel aroused around my wife.
Will try to work on getting arousal levels back to life interactions, any exercises you recommend?

Can I ask what you did to overcome this issue on your end?

I wonder if the “Simmering” tactic would work here?

Does your wife send you signals indicating that she is interested in you?

Is it possible that you have a need to be wanted sexually that you are not getting from your wife, and that is blocking you from having desire toward her?

Was there ever a time when you were sexually interested in your wife?

Is it possible to construct a fantasy relating to your wife that would cause you some measure of sexual interest? That might be a place to start if you were trying Simmering tactic.

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