Anyone with trouble getting aroused mentally?

I have been suffering with ED for the past few months, but I noticed that sometimes when I’m with my girlfriend, despite the cuddling, the kissing, and the touching, I can’t get “turned on”. It’s very strange and concerning, because I’m very attracted to my girlfriend, I care about her emotionally, but sometimes, despite wanting to be physical, I can’t get mentally aroused, certainly not the same arousal that watching porn generates, for example.

Anyone feel the same way, and does anyone have any tips or advice on how to get 'in the mood" more reliably?


I have felt this way and its disconcerting. I dont know why i dont switch on but i often start to spectator and wonder why its not happening -and of course that makes it worse. I have found that not thinking abt it can help as well as fantasizing / redirecting my mind. and also exercising in general helps reboot my system a bit.


Anyone else sometimes get no arousal purely from physical touch when someone starts a handjob or blowjob. I would think my reward system would say hey this feels good and will lead to more but often i am just flat. I almost need like a story or flirty convo or i need a fantasy in my head. Sometimes visual works too (seeing wife naked). I am just surprised the purely physical that she initiates doesnt work and its the same when masterbating - i need the visual or fantasy - touch alone doesnt work. Anyone else like this?

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both of your issues i also experience. I can’t get satisfaction with oral or hand jobs, and it’s almost impossible for me to cum at the end. I do get soft right before sex but if i’m lucky enought to get it hard I rarely cum. Almost like I have very low sensitivity to my penis, I almost wished I had PE instead of DE. anyone else? any tips?

Ive read about the P shot that helps with sensitvity, or using a vacum pump to get the penis hard inorder to get the ball rolling…

i feel the same way and when i start realising it not going up then i begin to panic and tel it to go up. which makes the situation even worse

I do agree. In fact i would as far as to say Often I don’t feel desire for my current gf despite me finding her attractive and loving her. I think it can come from associating the desire with that particular partner with ED. Youre almost thinking ‘she thinks im a flop.’. This isn’t however the same when for example a one night stand or new partner would put it on you and I believe its because you feel you’ve lost your masculine power over your current partner and you don’t hold the reigns of sexual control. For new partners where ED hasn’t played out I feel empowered and energised because they aren’t associated with the shame of previous ed situations. The confidence is there more for some reason

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Hey guys,
I started a new relationship with a woman who has a high sex drive and love sex. This pressure created an ED issue for me. We had a few difficult sessions, some I couldn’t get hard at all, others I did but went soft.
It was all in my head, I worked on breathing techniques and positive self talk. I turned the corner and things have been great. I have my confidence back, we’re communicating well and enjoying a great sex life.
I don’t get turned on until I’m about to have sex, never have. I still have the thought that I may have issues next time, however I use positive self talk around previous times with her and on the past. Don’t give up, talk with partner, you’ll get through this rough patch, that’s all it is


Yes I can relate to all of that