Anxious thoughts about future encounters

I started using Mojo about a month ago and it’s really helped with my performance anxiety issues to the point where I’m not really having erection problems, however I feel like I’m more anxious about future encounters? Has anyone else found this? I often find myself thinking about future encounters with my girlfriend and panicking about them. Thank you for your help.

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling and it’s great to hear that you’re making progress.

What in particular are you anxious about in relation to a potential future girlfriend?

I have experienced anxiety in the past in the sense that I have avoided women all together, because I have not felt confident about being able to “perform” and have sex.

Nowadays, I tend to just go for it, but I still have a lot of work to do because I do suffer from not getting/losing erections and being very harsh towards myself, which tends to reinforce the problem.

I think I’m anxious about losing or not getting my erection and then disappointing her. I really like her so I think fundamentally I’m fearful of losing her. She is really supportive and kind so I know she wouldn’t break up with me rationally but I think that’s still the crux of my anxiety. I don’t avoid either, just go for it and see what happens. If it does happen it’s now not as destructive as it used to be, in terms of my thoughts and negative self talk around it. Thank you for your reply :smiling_face:

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Thank you for sharing. I can definitely relate to those fears! It’s great to hear that the negative thoughts are not as strong as they once were.

As you say, she’s very unlikely to break up with you as a result of erection difficulties in and of themselves (and would you want to stay with someone who was superficial like this in any case? Imagine if she just didn’t get or stay wet for some reason - you guys would find a way around this and still have fun together; you wouldn’t just drop her).

To my mind, what could cause a woman to want to end things would be if her man was proving to be tough to be around (such as by feeling overly sorry for himself, not being the fun guy that he was before, by being purely focused on his misery, or by not showing her proper attention (emotionally and intimately)) - that is, no longer the guy that she first decided that she wanted to be with.

My sense is that if we can avoid feeling sorry for ourselves, seek to address our issues and continue to treat our partners well, then we are maximising the chances of putting our difficulties behind us and having high-quality relationships.

Great messaging. I’m in a similar situation as OP.

I have a tendency to feel sorry for myself but I am increasingly able to get out of this mindset quicker and quicker and try to focus on what actions I can take. My new flame isn’t sending any negative messages but my mind has been fucked up by a year of ED issues with an ex that made her super insecure. This in turn led to extreme feelings of guilt, and in the present it leads to me focusing too much on the woman and not enough on my own experience.

Sex at its core is a partially selfish act. You are the most aroused if you want to melt her brains for your own pleasure. Not because she wants you to, but because you want to. It’s an important difference. The other party will find their satisfaction from that. Find your power as a man in that.

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