I am 19 and have recently had sex for the first time with my girlfriend of 6 months. We have done other stuff before and I have found myself getting anxious that I won’t get it up, but that feeling always passed after a few minutes.When it came to our first time though, that changed. I was really anxious and it took a long time to get an erection. But basically as soon as I put on the condom, it went away again. I managed to calm down a bit more a few minutes later but the anxiety came back as soon as I tried to enter her. As the entire situation is new to me, it took a while for me to find my way around and because of that I fully lost my erection. We tried again the next day and then succeeded after a few failed attempts. Since then we have tried it again two times but I wasn’t able to keep my erection long enough to be able to enter her. Basically as soon as I even thing of putting on the condom, my head switches into fight or flight mode and my erection disappears. This is really frustrating because if right after that we go back to oral or similar, everything works again. It is like a switch is flipped in my brain.Has anyone else had an experience like this or can give me some advice?
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Focus on your breathing and try to reduce the fear of loosing an erection, the anxiety you feel only serves to get in the way. Talk to your partner and ask them to help with reducing the anxiety by being patient and understanding. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, it’s an intimate and enjoyable experience take your time with things and practice relaxing as much as possible
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Try to redirect your attention to something in the moment like the feel of touch, or create a fantasy in your mind that gets your mind distracted on something new