I am a 19yr old college student and I have had some issues with my libido for like 6 months now and it creates a frustrating cycle where my anxiety that it isn’t getting better, in turn makes it worse. I have been in a relationship for two years and at the beginning I was really driven to sex, but over time it sort of just slowed nearly to a stop. For context, I have no sexual interest in anyone (no do I have a strong interest in masturbation) and I am very attracted to my partner still. I am afraid I might just have uncharacteristically low T or maybe it is all psychological, I just don’t know why it started in the first place.
I think a small part of it is that I generally have some discomfort with sex and tend to feel shame afterward at times. I also tend to feel physically dirty and immediately need a shower to feel comfortable again. I am trying to train this out of me but it just makes me feel less interested in doing it again. Any thoughts?
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I am in the same exact situation age and everything I feel it’s all psychological I’ve been to doctors and everything and as tough as it is to break the cycle I feel we are in our own heads
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I feel your pain brother. Go to the explore tab and watch the videos on self criticism and managing negative thoughts. You sound like you’re being very hard on yourself.
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Life has been super hectic for me lately and I think it actually helped because now I don’t think abt this as much and it’s easier for me to enjoy the moment. I’m going this keeps up. It seems that we might just need to kick out this idea that something is wrong.
Sounds like you’ve identified a lot of your own negative thoughts around sex, These negative thoughts exist in your head only but are manifesting in your body to the point you are not even interested in sex. It’s a matter of thinking alternative positive thoughts and re-training your brain. Maybe you could examine where these negative thoughts originated, Why do your feel discomfort, shame and dirty? Sounds like some religeous hangover that you’ve taken out of context and is not serving you well. Did you enjoy sex at first? Do you actually think there’s anything wrong, shameful or dirty with sex. Examine those feelings and thoughts in a logical way and see if they really make sense to you now. Take it easy on yourself and you’ll come out of this a happier person.
Instead of trying to eliminate the bad, try adding the good. Add positive thinking and meditations from the app. Listen to them often.
If you think of it like changing your diet, instead of trying to stop eating McDonalds try adding vegetables till eventually your body craved the veggies it can use.
Same with this, your self wants to heal, it will grab on to the good stuff so feed it as much as you can.
At least that really helped me. Still struggling but it has gotten me to a better place of moving that pebble a day until the whole mountain is moved.
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Definitely invest in getting a testosterone level check as it would be good to know where you are at