I am a 16 year old male. iāve had a girlfriend for the past almost 6 months. almost right off the bat when i would be getting head i would notice my inability to get a full erection. whether it was just struggling to get hard or getting a full one, something was always a problem. my girlfriend would complain about it how i would never cum from head or handles. this led to me searching for answers. i found that sometimes it was started by porn. i stopped porn likely about a month into dating. something i hate to admit was iāve been addicted to porn and masturbating to it since middle school. almost every day. up until a month or two ago we had never had sex. she has always been a pregnancy freak ( understandably ) and even tho sheās on bc, made me wear a condom. during foreplay it would take me longer to get an erection, and the hardest it would ever get was 60% of the normal length and barely standing on its own. although i still masturbate typically 2-3 days a week, not always to porn but sometimes to nude pictures of my girlfriend.
- anyway, she would try and put a condom on and it was like a wet noodle, barely getting on, if even getting on in general. this led to find my search for an answer. why can i not be like every other guy? my girlfriend is everything iāve ever wanted - keep in mind i was a virgin and she was not. although that didnāt really faze me. she would end up giving up and just putting it in raw, she would keep it in and even while inside it barely got hard. i want to have sex but i donāt have the money to pay for this app. any suggestions?
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I had almost the same experience with my girlfriend when I was 16, still struggling on and off at 18. More guys struggle than you probably think, itās just that no one talks about it.
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Yeah āevery other guyā is basically in here - ha haā¦ no seriously nearly everyone will go through periods like this. at some stage including straight off the bat.
Main thing Iād suggest is to be not too tough in yourself; max what you can do in mojo in the period you have; main focus is to steer away from worry about how hard you are to enjoying whatever it is you are doing and focus on the sensations (dick if otherwise) and focus in the now - not if you will I will get hard soon . Also important that note is hardness varies during sex anyway - a bit softer doesnāt mean your losing it - just a bit softer and it may get harder again.
Relax and enjoy being with your girl and talk about what youāre feeling.
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weirdly have the exact same situation, nice to know other guys are in the same boat as me. been dating my now first girlfriend for a few months (iām 17) and manage to lose my erection every time we try to have sex or she gives me oral. mojo says to stay relaxed and not be too hard on myself, which iām trying, but losing the erection is something completely out of my control, and happens every time. I also did the same of stopping to watch porn after we started dating and iām really hoping my past of watching it hasnāt affected me now. but I always become a āwet noodleā as you said whenever I need to perform. however iām always fine when I masterbate, it only happens when i have to perform with her. does anyone have any suggestions for us both in this same boat?
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literally basically what you said is exactly what happens to me. iāve done lots of research and iāve noticed that two of the biggest signs are low testosterone and low confidence. which i definitely have low confidence, ill try and hype myself up a little bit and try and be more confident and i feel like it works but it still doesnāt work
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Hereās some stuff I found on Quora:
Your condition could be one of the two. Its either porn induced erectile dysfunction, in which case you have to reachout to a sexologist and get therapy. Or you have choked your weapon during masturbation for a very long time. Meaning you use a very strong grip to masturbate and you have done so for a long time. Men generally have stronger grip strength, penis is full of nerves, gripping it too hard can desensitize it. No womanās vagina is tight enough to mimic a grip hold of a man. Try this next time to confirm which of the two cases your problem belongs in. See if you can simoly be with your girlfriend during foreplay, instead of intercourse you simply masturbate whil she is kissing you or something else. if it works for you, then you have definitely desensitized your penis. You should in this case stop masturbating permanantly and postpone sex untill your penis is extremely sensitive. Make sex your only means of orgasm. A lot of men suffer eom this problem and they dont even know this. chokeholding ones penis can lead to such trouble.
If you want to regain sensitivity back: *shower everyday, *drink a lot of water, *donāt masturbate for a month. (Each week youāll see progress and at one point youāll experience a period that either nothing will turn you on and you wonāt be getting hard or everything will and itās normal all apart of the healing process.) Remember donāt relapse yet though because thereās a test you can do to see if your sensitivity is back and you can do this in public or in private and imagine youāre going to have sex without touching yourself too much and see if your erection is strong and hard. Ideally you want to be able to get strong hard erections without touching yourself. And this may take a little longer than a month if you are an excess masturbator.
Also a key note, how youāre masturbating matters too. I am circumcised so I target the part in between my tip and my skin which is my sensitive spot that feels the best and doing it over and over again lāve became desensitized and relapsed today actually so itās funny i came across this. So donāt worry, I will be doing this again too starting right now. And this worked for me and itās actually worked plenty of times to me so l think it should work for you
In a nutshell, 
STOP JERKING OFFā:warning: donāt even look at porn
Also you are not āperformingā - just having sex/ intimacy.
tysm good sir i will absolutely try this. if you see this, are u trying to desensitize your penis or sensitize it? im unsure what u mean. u say dont masturbate then say when u masturbate only touch a certain spot?