I’m there too, I came to the conclusion that I told my wife I wanted to abstain from sex altogether just to give myself a break mentally and emotionally. Still not sure how long that will last or if it’s a good idea
I won’t feel anything it won’t be pleasurable
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I can reprogram the thought of my dick not being able to work. Catastrophising and over generalization. That’s not true because it works when I’m alone. It’s all in my head and I can have good times again.
Removing the overgeneralisation thought pattern is starting to become more consistent. One bad (ish) experience isn’t the end of the world as subsequent experiences have been an improvement. Just because something negative happened once doesn’t mean to say it will happen continuously.
No over generalizations and over thinking before/after sex
I’d just left a longterm relationship and couldn’t get it up. I overgeneralised and felt I’d not have great sex again. Really I just wasn’t ready to move on. No I have properly processed my experience and have worked on myself I see this for what it was, bad timing. I will have great sex it’s just a matter of time
I will always be alone
Staying hard for the entire time is critical
That I can teach myself healthy and effective ways to deal with my challenges.
I won’t be able to satisfy her
I’m letting her down, she deserves better
I’m going to finish fast
I won’t be able to get hard
I’ll never last long enough to please her
I’ll never get fully hard again
Thought: she isn’t going to text me back because I was weird and hesitant in bed
Reality: that may or may not be true. There are ways I’m improving with every sexual encounter. We had penetrative sex for a while and she got close to orgasm. On some level I didn’t like her that much, and she may have felt it
She is disappointed when I finish too quickly and I’m not able to fulfill her needs, but actually when we talked about it she was understanding and will be supportive of me until I can get my PE figured out.
Staying hard and being able to cum - I can do it alone so why not with someone else. When I feel like I can’t cum and I’m getting soft, don’t let the negative feedback hit me
I might not get hard right away when I even think about sex with someone I would want to have sex with
Negative thought: “I couldn’t stay hard again. She must be really disappointed. I’ll never be able to fully enjoy sex.”
Reprogrammed: “We both orgasmed and she said it was worth staying up late for, therefore she probably wasn’t disappointed. I might never have fully enjoyed sex before, but I’ve also never put the work in on a programme like this before. She’s willing to work through this issue together, and many men have overcome this to achieve satisfying sex lives, therefore I should keep doing the work and stay optimistic.”
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