Over the past five years, I’ve been slowly becoming more vulnerable about my desires to be polyamorous. My girlfriend is open to it, but we both agree that we both need to be more in control of my stress and emotions and have a stronger foundation / don’t hurt each other before either of us forms a serious relationship with other people.
I feel that a script around masculinity is that guys are just players. And I’m always worried that I am that, or that when I tell people that I’m poly, they’ll think that.
But I see being poly (and being open and honest about having multiple relationships) isn’t playing, because all parties are aware.
And it’s also not something I want to do for my own masculinity or bragging rights. I just feel that there’s so much I get (and people in general) get out of different relationships. And I don’t believe people should be closed off to these connections.
I told one of my best friends about my wanting to be poly, and he said it was selfish. But also isn’t it selfish to be in a relationship and make someone promise to love only you?
Anyways, throwing all this out there. I also struggle off and on with PE, and this app has really helped me learn why. I definitely put stress on myself to please so that I can “prove” I deserve to have multiple partners.
But really for me having multiple partners is just as about exploring different emotional connections as much as it is about exploring different intimate/sexual connections. And learning how to be open to all this has helped me last longer and be more in the moment (and also feel more and have stronger orgasms), which has been fantastic!
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It’s about intimacy. Many of the characteristics of my relationship with my wife could be achieved through friendships, parenting my kids, work colleagues, social groups. But having sex with my wife is exclusive to her. The relationship with her is the deepest, most intimate relationship I have. Enjoying it instead of focusing on lasting or making her cum,
having fun fun being in the moment getting a lil freaky
I think sex is many things - it’s an act of play, an exploration of how each person responds to things, but also an opportunity to bond in an intense physical and emotional way. It’s about intimacy obviously, but I think good sex is about feeling connected, relaxed, and having fun.
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Deep sense of caring for one another and being vulnerable in a safe space.
Mutual pleasure which brings us closer together. Spontaneity — being able to mix it up, role play etc, without being harassed by the inner critic and freezing up. Difficult when you can’t reliably get it up and when you do you come too quickly
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Free, easy, instinctual. A place to explore different aspects and connect
Being clearly and emphatically dominant for most of the time, but having freedom to switch roles with a partner
Having a good time where both enjoy what we are doing together, teasing and going wild
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Intimacy and feeling companionship
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Feeling desired throughout
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Sex is deep intimacy, surrendering yourself and accepting another with a full embrace. It’s playful, it’s dirty, it’s romantic, it’s kinky, it’s scary, and oh so fulfilling.
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A feeling a desire & being desired. As well as a forming or strengthening of a personal connection.
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Having fun exploring each others bodies free of judgement
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Being silly, vulnerable and open while exploring each other’s bodies.
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Enjoying each other’s body pleasures in any way and without shame
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i liked the ‘being completely accepted’ from the last page. i think honestly honestly, yeah i’d love to feel just eeennndless fucking patience and interest from my partner. i hate feeling pressure to perform in ways that i have had trouble showing up/performing consistently. i want to be w someone who knows what they want and also really wants to know what i want, asks, urges, is patient, and open to processing what’s coming up for me if it comes up. i want to explore lots of diff kinky things like bondage and slapping and choking, both giving and receiving. i def want lots of penetrative sex both directions. i want to explore some deep dominance and submission stuff that is well negotiated. honestly it would be nice to have like a week long retreat to focus on just sex to remove time/urgency concerns.
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I’d like sex to be about connection and pleasure. My gf gets disappointed if I’m not hard but I wish that she ignores that part for a bit and just enjoys sex.
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A different experience at different times. Sometimes a gentle way to show how sexy and amazing I think my partner is. Sometimes a cathartic passionate fuck.